THE KAISER'S REASONS 



mmm^ ELIZABETH MARSH 




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THE KAISER'S REASONS 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 

A Drama in Three Acts 
With Interludes 



BY 

ELIZABETH MARSH 




NEW YORK 

DUFFIELD & COMPANY 

1918 






\^ 



Copyright, 1918, by 
DUFPIELD & COMPANY 



DEC 27 1918 ^y 

^CI.A511047 



To all tlie guides of my youth: 

especially to 

my father and mother. 



THE KAISER^S REASONS 



A DRAMA IN THREE ACTS 
WITH INTERLUDES 



DRAMATIS PERSONiE 

Kaiser Wilhelm II 
Frederick the Great 

General von Falkenhayn, Minister of War 
Admiral von Tirpitz, State Secretary of the Admiralty 
Emil Rathenau, Railway and Bank Director 
Raoul de Forta, a Captain of tlie Belgian Life Guards 

Voltaire, French Poet and Philosopher 
BoTTA, The Austrian Ambassador 
Pluto, A Dancing Blackamoor 

An American Poet Captain 

An American Banker Lieutenant 

Maria Theresa, Queen of Hungary and Archduchess of 

Austria 
Yolande de Malines, The Daughter of a Belgian Count 

Two Spirits Armed 



10 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Scene: — A small officer's dugout. Two communication 
trendies run from it — one to the first line batteries, 
the other to an observation post. Poet Captain and 
Banker Lieutenant sit smoking. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

[Relighting his pipe.] What you've told me settles 
it for good and all. [Takes a long puff.] You ought 
never to have been here. 

Poet Captain. 

[Looking into the muzzle of his automatic] Oh yes, I 
ought. You forget I went in for Mathematics when I 
was in college. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

[Chuckling.] The deuce you did. You seem to have 
forgotten how we used to guy and gas you for it. Do 
you remember your innocent remark that you took 
Mathematics for the poetry in them? 

Poet Captain. 

[Scowling a little.] If I hadn't had the Poetry plus 
the Mathematics, I might not have been handling this 
battery here tonight. It's the Poetry, after all that 
actually got me here. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 11 

Banker Lieutenant. 

Blest if I know what got me here — beyond longing 
to kick the Kaiser, of course. 

Poet Captain. 

Nonsense, you always did the square thing. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

You mean by that, I was always kicked into some kind 
of a squad. 

Poet Captain. 

Yes, squads have a way of being square. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

You fellows that have got it. . . . 

Poet Captain. 

Got what? 

Banker Lieutenant. 

Vision. . . . You don't know what it is to be without 
it. I 'd never have gone in for banking if I 'd had what 
you've got. 



12 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet Captain. 

Shucks ! I have an unforgettable recollection of your 
writing your class play — your class and mine. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

That was the most monstrous joke of my time. Of 
course, I did have the gift of gab. I've got it to this 
day. If I'd had your vision, the world would have 
listened to me — as it will to you some day. 

Poet Captain. 

[Shakes Ms liead.] No. I have the "vision" that 
this engagement tonight is going to do me in. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

Then why the devil did you come? You could have 
stuck it out here as a war correspondent ... at least 
till you'd got this play poem, this thing you've just 
told me . . . got it into cold type. 

Poet Captain. 

[SJiaking Ms Jiead.] It's a good-sized play poem, you 
see. It takes in the major part of my whole experience 
as a war correspondent. Getting it into cold type. 
[Shakes Ms head again.] No, there wasn't time. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 13 

[Telephone rings. With his ear to the receiver.] Yes, 
sir. Yes, Colonel, that's what I understood. Yes, I 
have the listening post in communication. Yes, sir, we 
are expecting events about eleven. Yes, sir, the range 
cards are furnished to all guns. [Pause.] Yes, sir, I'll 
see to that at once. They have already had those orders. 
Yes, I'll see to that at once, sir. [Hangs up receiver, 
and takes it down again.] Send me the Company First 
Sergeant at once. [Hayigs up. Silence a moment. The 
Captain looks at the Lieutenant with folded amis.] A 
question of the special crews for the two Maxims. 

[Enter Company First Sergeant, Salutes and sta^ids 
at attention.] 

Poet Captain. 

Sergeant, I have just told the Colonel, that the pack- 
ing on both Maxims is in condition. Is everything as it 
was twenty minutes ago? How about Number Two? 
Still O. K."? 

Sergeant. 

Yes, sir, that Maxim is a perfect lady. I wish every 
one in the battery was like her. 

Poet Captain. 

How would you like a twelve-inch Browning? 



14 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Skrgeant. 
I prefer the ladies, sir. 

Poet Captain. 

Mind you pussyfoot it in your waders, and if promo- 
tion means anything to you, don't let there be any 
splashing. There's liable to be a night operation, in 
less than twenty minutes. 

Sergeant. 

Yes, sir, the men suspect it. I told 'em all they need 
is to hold their blasted mouths open. . . . Righto in 
the presence of ladies. 

Poet Captain. 

That's all right, Sergeant. If you're as fit as you 
were twenty minutes ago, . . . well, we'll make history 
spin. 

Sergeant. 
I hope so, sir. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 15 

Poet Captain. 

That's all, Sergeant. Good-niffht, and ffood luck. 

[Sergeant salutes and goes out. 
Good luck. It's an enigmatical term. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

I wonder what you'd have done, if you'd had what 
they called my good luck? 

Poet Captain. 

Blown it in, perhaps, as you did. I never had any 
good luck. I had "vision." 

Banker Lieutenant. 

You're an ungrateful hound. It's the one thing that 
makes a dog's life worth living. And you got it, and 
got it good and square, and never had to pay any price, 
80 far. 

Poet Captain. 

Oh, yes, I did. I've paid the price. . . . While you 
were settling your breach of promise suit I was falling 
in love with a woman ... a real one. 



16 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Banker Lieutenant, 

Well, that 's your cursed luck, again. I Ve tried to fall. 
But I couldn't see it. 

Poet Captain. 
Falling isn't everything. 

Banker Lieutenant. 
Well? 

Poet Captain. 
I've no right to suppose that she cares for me. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

You mean to say you came away without having an 
understanding with her ? 

Poet Captain. 

[Getting up and pacing in liis narrow space.] Of 
course, I mean it. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 17 

Banker Lieutenant. 

You ass, that was the time to take her. You never 
looked any job so well as this. Women will do any- 
thing for a cartridge belt. 

Poet Captain. 

Oh, she had half a dozen cartridge belts, all wanting 
to noose her. I'm not any different from any of her 
Tom, Dick and Harry friends, that have come over here. 
She 's not that kind of woman. 

Banker Lieutenant. 
[Puffing long.] Oh! 

Poet Captain. 

My play poetry could have got her, if I had published 
any big enough to present her with. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

This play poem you've just reeled off is big enough 
for one generation. 

Poet Captain. 
But I shall not live to write it . . . perhaps. 



IS THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Banker Lieutenant. 

If I could once see it, as you've told it to me, I could 
write it myself. I'm blind, but I've got the gift of 
gab. I wasn't class poet for nothing. 

Poet Captain. 

Which means that if the shrapnel gets me . . . that 
maybe you'll write it. Will you, old man? 

Banker Lieutenant. 

No. I said I'd have to see it, as you saw it. 

Poet Captain. 

Well, maybe if the shrapnel, or whatever it is that'll 
get me . . . maybe . . . [FiimUes slieepislily in his 
pocket.] . . . maybe you '11 take her back this little white 
veil. It has her name and address on the envelope. I 
put it in. [Tales it out a moment.] 

Banker Lieutenant. 
[Cliewing liis pipe.] Of course I will. 
Poet Captain. 

[Putting it hach in liis pocket.] I asked her for it. 
If I'd had my new unpublished volume, and especially 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 19 

this play to show her . . . embodying my whole ex- 
perience as a war correspondent . . . I 'd have asked for 
more. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

The devil you would! And you'd have got it, too. 
[Long pause.] 

Poet Captain. 

If the German guns get me they'll get the play poem, 
too. 

Banker Lieutenant. 
Maybe not. . . . You knoAv I 've been thinking. 

Poet Captain. 
Thinking what? 

Banker Lieutenant. 

They say some of this German gas makes you see 
things. 

Poet Captain. 
Yes, I've heard there is a kind that does. 



20 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Banker Lieutenant. 

Perhaps if I get a touch of German gas I 'd see all this 
magnificence of yours that you've told me . . . see it as 
you saw it. What price German gas, eh? 

Poet Captain. 

What price German gas. [Silence. Then a big burst 
of artillery. Captain rushes toward trench communi- 
cating with observation post. Lieutenant rushes to the 
trench communicating with battery. Captain turns back 
and seizes the telephone. Shouts.] Hello! Gas masks 
for the battery! [Both struggle with their ')Jiashs. 
Captain rushes through communication.] 

Banker Lieutenant. 

Good luck, old man! [A pause in the roar.] What 
the hell ! I say, old man, I 'm seeing things ! 

[Thick smoke, roaring, and darkness. Then the 
chiming of bells, through the smoke, which finally 
reveals a Belfry in Berlin, through whose 
arches clouds of the night drift by, concealing and 
revealing the stars, and also disclosing, time and 
again, the face of the Poet, gazing steadfastly 
through the central arch of the belfry. On either 
side of the arch stand two Spirits, crowned each 
with a star, and armed: the one on the left, with 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 21 

a sword in a sfiining sheath, the one on the right, 
with a broken reed held in his uplifted hand. 
Chimes, discernible high in the belfry, are peal- 
ing Christmas carols, and the voices of children 
echo them, in the street far below. At length they 
cease. 

Spirit of the Sword. 
And so, again, I meet thee, face to face. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Fear you my face ? 

Spirit of the Sword. 

Fear ! I, the Pride of Life ! 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Yea, me, the Meekness and Humility 

Of Death. Fear, have you still no fear of me? 

Spirit of the Sword. 

I, dayspring of the heart of kings, to blench! 

Spirit of the Reed. 

At me, who moan as every sparrow falls. 



22 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Spirit op the Sword. 

I, Lucifer, Son of the Morning, fear! 

Spirit or the Reed. 

Yea, me, a Star not seen of all in the East. 
How often have we thus appeared. 

Spirit of the Sword. 

Too oft! 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Each unto eaoh. And you've no fear of me? 

Spirit of the Sword. 

A spade, when does it fear to break the grave 
It overturns? 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Three days in grave I lay. 

Spirit of the Sword. 

Three days. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 23 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And yet I live. Ha'^^e you no fear? 

Spirit of the Sword. 

I fear you not, because you live to die. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

As every life that lives. 

Spirit of the Sword. 

[Crying out.] 
Nay, nay! 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Yea, yea ! 
How long through ages, must you learn there are 
Two ways to live, and both are ways to die. 
Behold I stand at each man's door and knock, 
With this my reed. 

Spirit op the Sword. 

And I shall deafen him, 
Unsheathed this my sword. Think not that you 
Shall baffle me. 



24 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Spirit of the Reed. 

On this momentous night. 

Spirit op the Sword. 

This night, here, in this paltry capital 
Shall come to pass, a thing to shake the world. 
A new-made king shall make his choice, 'twixt thee 
And me. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And so through ages, curse the world. 

Spirit op the Sword. 

Through ages wilt thou seek again, and seek 
To save the cursed world? 

Spirit op the Reed. 

Behold I stand 
At each man's door, and knock. 

Chorus of Children. 

Christ is born in wood of stall, 
Christ is born to die for all, 
Born to die on wood was he. 
Died to live eternally. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 25 

Spirit of the Sword. 

[Strikes tJie air witTi Ms sword.] 
I, Lucifer, match might with impotence, 
Again and yet again. 'Tis I, who wreak 
Thy death. I, in my pride of life, 'tis I, 
Through bright eternity, who break thy reed. 
Like winds of ice, smite down thy broken reed, 

[Strikes the hroken reed.] 
"With this my sceptre sword. 

[Moa'Tis from tJie Holder of tlie Reed. Lucifer 
strikes liini to one knee, and strides past him, out 
of sight. Bells chime.] 

Chorus of Children. 

There, where Christ in his manger lay, 
Angels kneel by night and day. 
Wise men search his %vi8dom sweet, 
Crowns of kings are at his feet. 
Rich men with their pearls bespeak 
Wealth he wards for poor and meek. 
Rich men with their pearls have sought 
Wealth the poor obtain for naught. 



Poet. 



Master ! 



26 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Spirit of the Reed. 

[Still half kneeling, witJi his brow on his hand, raises 
his head.] 
Why callest thou me ' ' Master, ' ' son ? 

Poet. 
I know not. But I know thou art my Lord. 

Spirit of the Reed. 
Young Soul, thou art unborn. 

Poet. 

Yet I would die 
For thee. Sir, when may I be born? 

Spirit of the Reed. 

For me 
Though many die . . . not all that think they would. 

Poet. 
How, die ? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 27 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Some nailed to trees, like me. 

Poet. 

I would 
So die. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And some in dungeons, underground. 

Poet. 

Even so. 
Would I. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Many in pestilence, to serve 
The sick, and me. 

Poet. 

I'd fear not pestilence. 

Of the Reed. 

And many more on battlefields. 



28 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

Give me 
A battlefield. 

Spirit op the Reed. 

But most and dearest, they 
Who did iorsake what they loved best, and in 
So doing, live. 

Poet. 

My best will I forsake. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Strange sight hast thou. 

Poet. 

My eyes, I 'II give to thee. 
And thy strange kingdom. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

With those eyes wouldst see 
My foe afoot tonight in this dark world? 
Behold, before a palace door I stand, 
And knock. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 29 

Poet. 
Oh, master, may I see? 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Go see 
This night, how strong is Life, and Pride of Life. 
For swords, this night unsheathed, shall pierce my side, 
Again, and yet again, until the world 
Shall wheel its surface to the sickened Sun, 
One battlefield. Behold, I stand at this 
King's door, and knock. 

Poet. 

And shall he hear thee. Lord ? 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Go see how strong is Pride of Life, and say 

If, after seeing this, thou 'It squander it for me. 

Chimes and Voices 

Wise men search His wisdom, sweet, 
Crowns of kings are at his feet. 
Rich men, with their pearls, have sought 
Wealth the poor obtain for naught. 

[Thick concealing clouds] 



ACT I 

The thick clouds finally reveal: — 

Scene: A State Bed Cliamber of Frederick's Palace 
at Berlin. Frederick the Great lies in a bed 
placed sidewise in an alcove at the hack of the 
CJiamher, on the right. A dressing cabinet is at 
the left, and a little in front of it, large chairs on 
either side of a table. A great door is at the foot 
of the bed in line with its leiigtli. 

A Groom of the Chamber gives Frederick a cup to drink 
ivho takes it in a hand shaking with the ague. 

Frederick. 

{Having quaffed the cup.] Medicine is an unborn 
science. Have the bounty to send me my new monkey, 
and Pluto, his brother. 

Groom. 

His brother. Majesty? 

31 



32 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

Yes, Pluto, my blackamoor, an ape endowed with 
tropic epi{2^ram. I must have conversation. I'm sick of 
the ennui of hearing the bed reply its wooden repartee to 
my ague. 

[Groom goes out. Bells cliime in tJie distance. 
Frederick slowly rises from Ms hed and stands 
shaking witJi the ague.] 
Christmas and ague are great interruptions to the 
business of life. 

Voices of Children. 

[Growing louder.] 
Wise men search his wisdom sweet, 
Crowns of kings are at his feet, 
He who breathed the oxens' breath, 
King and Conqueror over death. 

Frederick. 

[Going to his dressing cabinet and searching for a 
hand mirror.] Piety keeps the common people out of 
mischief. But if my Prussian subjects paid as much 
attention to the curling of periwigs as they do to psalm 
singing— [Loofcs at himself in the mirror] — ^we should 
be the best dressed gentlemen in Europe. [Takes a pinch 
of snuff, his hand shaking. ] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 33 

[Enter Pluto, leading a monkey on a cord, fol- 
lowed by the Groom. 

Pluto. 

[Bowing, and trying to make tJie monkey how.] You 
Poker Back! Don't you know folk is shovelled out of 
here that can't make bows to kings? 

Frederick. 

Teach him to talk, Pluto. I 'd like to know his reason 
for not bowing, — before I execute him. 

Pluto. 

Many's the time I tries to make him talk, . . . and 
threaten him with a good gallows, too! 

Frederick. 

[Taking snuff.] Threatened him with the gallows, 
have you! 

Pluto. 

Yes, your Sire. 



34 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

That shows how little threats alone accomplish. They 
won't even make a monkey talk. On the gallows, now, 
he would have to dance. Have you taught him how to 
dance yet? 

Pluto. 

Yes, your Sire. Poker dances smarter most than me. 

Frederick. 

Smarter than you! That's smarter than a hippo- 
potamus. What does he dance? 

Pluto. 

The English Dead Eye, the Austrian Strangle, The 
Guinea Gallop, and the American Idiot. 

Frederick. 

Give me the Austrian Strangle. 

Pluto. 

Poker won't dance without his music , . . any more 
than me. No Siree, your Sire, 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 35 

Frederick. 

Music! Is that all? Heinrich, where 's my flute? 
[Heinrich fetches the flute. Frederick plays upon it 
falteringly, still shaken with the ague. Pluto and Poker 
dance, at first tvith clumsy wheelings, afterwards more 
rapidly, until the cord gets wound round Poker's neck. 
Putting down the flute.] Is that the Austrian Strangle? 

Pluto. 

[Bowing low.] Yes, Siree, your Sire. 

Frederick. 

When / accomplish the Austrian Strangle, I hope my 
monkey will not look so wise. 

Pluto. 

Look pleasant, Poker. Fetch a smile, you Ape! 

Frederick. 

Yes, Poker, it's sometimes wise to smile in trying 
circumstances. 

Pluto. 

[Ruefully.] He looks like he would like to do the 
American Idiot. 



36 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

[Yawning and stretcliing in the midst of Ms shakes.] 
Well, he may not do the American Idiot. I'm not 
interested, for the moment, in American idiots. [Looks 
at himself again in the hand mirror.] And I think I 
hear a knock, which may mean the Austrian Ambassa- 
dor, or another love letter from Monsieur Voltaire, which 
is all the same to you as African crawfish. Pray make 
yourself part of the furniture. Have you learned yet 
how to be a lacquer idol? 

Pluto. 

Yes, your Sire. 

Frederick. 

Make sure you be an idol of Mack lacquer ! 

Pluto. 

Yes, your Sire! [Pulling Poker hij the cord.] Here, 
Poker, come, sir. You're a blacker idol. 

[They sit beside the bed like idols and roll eyes. 
Groom, after opening the door a moment, goes to 
Frederick. ] 

Frederick. 

Monsieur Voltaire, or Austria? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 37 

Groom. 

I don't know which, your Majesty. 

Frederick. 

Let him come in. [Enter Poet, dressed in black.] 

Frederick. 

[Turning round.] Ah, Monsieur, I see you are an 
Ambassador. But not the one that I expected. Have 
you brought me another message from Monsieur Vol- 
taire? Don't tell me his gold coach has broken down 
again! Don't tell me he will not be here tonight! I 
must have a trifling talk with him which may upset the 
equilibrium of Europe. If he delays again, . . . he'll 
find me gone ! I '11 not be here tomorrow I 

Poet. 
Sire, Monsieur Voltaire is near by on his road. 

Frederick. 
He sent you with the message? 

Poet. 
No. I passed him on the way. 



38 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

[Turns, ivitli a quicJc acrufmy.] You paused him! 
Then you are not his messenger? 

Poet, 
No, Sire, 

Frederick. 
"Who ai'e you then? 

Poet. 
I am a Poet. 

Frederick. 

Delightful! So am I. 

Poet. 
And a Soul Unborn. 

Frederick. 

Still more delightful! You're a Lunatic! Pray take 
a chair. [Points to one on tlie opposite side of the 
table.] I've had a monkey here to beguile me while I 
shake with the ague. And now I have a lunatic. You 
speak with a good French accent, Monsieur le Lunatique. 
[Poet sits opposite Frederick at the table.] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 39 

Poet. 

The tongue I speak is immaterial. 

Frederick, 

Parhleu, it's well you didn't attempt to afflict me 
with German. It is a language for boors. 

Poet. 

You are a German, Sire? 

Frederick. 

Unhappily ! A man should never be reproached with 
his birth. But I forget you don't understand such 
things, being yet unborn. 

Poet. 

yes. I understand many things, Sire. Your Maj- 
esty was born to a throne. 

Frederick. 

Yes. Happily! That is why I submit to being a 
German. Let us discuss an affair more interesting. 
You say you are a poet. Are you a dramatic poet? 



40 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

Yes, Sire. I should like to write a drama, with you 
as hero. 

Frederick. 

Capital! Don't kill me off! I'll furnish you with 
every situation but my death. 

Poet. 

A situation of heroism, Sire? 

Frederick. 

O yes, I'll furnish that too, incidentally. You see 
me in an ague. It's my shaking day. I shake, but not 
from fright. 

Poet. 

I'm sorry. Sire, to see you so. 

Frederick. 

Shed no tears over me, Monsieur the Poet Lunatic. 
I was about to say, I shake this evening, but by mid- 
night I shall dance . . . dance at a court ball, a hal 
masque, and before sunrise I shall be in uniform, post 
haste, to my battalions, in the Austrian snow fields. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 41 

Poet. 
I was about to speak of that. 

Frederick. 

[Turning imperiously.] Indeed! Who gave you lib- 
erty to speak on such a subject? 

Poet. 
Poets and Lunatics have licenses. 

Frederick. 

[Smiling.] Quite true. I intended from the start 
to consign you ultimately to the guardhouse. And so, 
pro tem., I gave liberty to you, — to you, and my own 
tongue. What were you going to say? 

Poet. 
We were discussing heroism, Sire. 

Frederick, 

[Taking snuif.] Ah yes! Heroism! [Musingly.] A 
pretty French word! 



42 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

What shall yovi do, once you have plunged into the 
Austrian snow fields? 

Frederick. 

[Straiglitening Jiimsclf and foldhuj his dressing gown 
about Mm..] Yes, yes. I see, Monsieur, like most men 
afflicted with your malady, you have the power of stick- 
ing to your point. Heroism ! That 's the point. [ Takes 
snuff again and muses between liis shakes.] 

Poet. 

It is the question for whose answer 1 came into the 
world before my time. 

Frederick. 

\Looking at him compassionately.] Poor gentleman! 
How would you define this flighty word, which seems so 
to have dominated you? 

Poet. 

Life, Sire, I foresee is sweet; and heroism only, I 
surmise, has power to part with life. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 43 

Frederick. 

Tut, tut, you go too far. Heroism does but risk its 
life, in hope of keeping it and something more. 

Poet. 

[Gazing earnestly at tlie king.] Instruet me, Sire. 
What is this something more than life? 

Frederick. 
The Pride of Life. 

Poet. 

The Pride of Life! Foeman of my Lord! And 
for this you go out by the cold December dawn, into the 
Austrian snow fields! 

Frederick. 

Why yes. That's nothing, child. I've had more 
chance of chillblains in my own father's palace. But 
you want heroism, in me personified. Well, I see I 
must fetch out the risks for you, before you are satisfied 
with my role of hero. 

Poet. 

[Leaning forward eagei'ly.] Yes Sire, what are your 
risks ? 



44 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

[Taking snuff.] Two gentlemen are due here now 
. . . who will thoroughly lay bare my risks . . . Mon- 
sieur Voltaire of France, and Monsieur Botta from the 
Court of Austria. 

Poet. 

Yes, I passed them on the road, each in his coach. 

Frederick. 

[With quick inquiry.] You passed the Ambassador 
from Austria, too ? 

Poet. 

Yes, and with him in the coach a lovely woman. 

Frederick. 

[Laughing.] Oh no, Monsieur the Poet Lunatic, that 
was a lovely vision. 

Poet. 

Beautiful as a Queen. I think she was the Austrian 
Queen. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 45 

Frederick. 

[Lookmg at liimself m the hand mirror. ^ No, my 
friend. If the Austrian Queen were beautiful as the 
Queen of Sheba, and I had the wisdom of Solomon, she 
would not come to question me on this particular Decem- 
ber night. {Lays down the mirror. \ Come, seeing you 
are a Lunatic, and must ultimately be incarcerated, I 
may as well permit you to remain and hear. 

Poet. 

Yes, yes? Hear what? 

Frederick. 

Hear the recitation of the risks I run. 

Poet. 

And your reward? 

Frederick. 

[PicJcing up Ms flute.] Ah, my reward! Do you en- 
joy the flute? 

Poet. 

It must be marvelous . . . your high reward. 



46 THE KAISER'S KEASONS 

Frederick. 

[Twirling the flute in liis fingers.] If the sight of my 
name in the gazettes, as Frederick the Great, should bore 
me ... I always have the flute. \Begi71s to play. In- 
terrupting Jiiniself.] This is a Minuet composed by a 
young Austrian at the Court of France. 

Poet. 

Music has a thousand tongues. 

[Frederick continues to play. Pluto makes Poker 
heat time with Ms paws. A knock. Frederick 
lays down tlie flute. Groom opens tlie door, and 
turns. 

Frederick. 

[Eagerly.] Monsieur Voltaire from France, or Mon- 
sieur Botta from the Court of Austria ? 

Groom. 

Sire, the Austrian Ambassador. 

Frederick. 

[Turning about in Jiis cliair.] Enter, Monsieur. I 
have been awaiting this interview, the while I shake with 
the ague. 



TJIE KAISER'S REASONS 47 

BOTTA. 

[Entering and bowing with Ms tricorn across liis heart. 
Then standing erect.] I hope, Sire, there is nothing 
portentous in your shakes. 

Frederick. 

That depends, Monsieur. If Atlas had the ague, he 
would shake the world. I am no Atlas. But I have 
Prussia, and the so-called Austrian province of Silesia, 
on my shoulders. And the world will at least take no- 
tice, if my shakes should shake the Kingdom of Prussia, 
and the Province of Silesia. 

BOTTA. 

[Stiff eriing and into'rupting.] Not yet Silesia, Sire. 
Frederick, 

Pray be seated. [Groom brings forward another great 
cliair.] This is a young Poet, who thinks he is unborn. 
He will not interrupt our conversation. [Poet and 
BoTTA how, and they both seat thc'inselves.] 

BOTTA. 

I am informed by my Government, Sire, that your 
Majesty has already overstepped the bounds of diplo- 
matic conversation. 



48 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

Conversation. . . . What a word! It is impossible 
for me to be conversinj? all the time, Monsieur. Negotia- 
tions without weapons are like music without instru- 
ments. Sometimes I play upon the flute. [Picks up tlie 
flute.] 

BOTTA. 

And sometimes, Sire, you play on other instruments. 
It has been indisputably ascertained, that fifteen of your 
regiments, artillery, horse, and foot, are already en- 
camped on the Silesian Border, at Frankfort on the 
Oder. 

Frederick. 

[Inclining Ms head.] You have been correctly in- 
formed about my regiments at Frankfort on the Oder. 
Did your emissaries also make it known, that tonight, 
when my ague fit is finished, I shall dance at a Court 
Ball, and before sunrise be in my army uniform, post 
haste, to join my regiments? 



BOTTA. 

[Rising from Ms cliair.] My God, impossible! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 49 

Frederick. 

[Looking up at Jiim with a cynical smile.] Not only 
possible, but probable: not only probable, but quite in- 
evitable. Pray be seated, Monsieur. [Botta reluctantly 
sits down and remains in gloomy silence for a moment. 
Frederick, toying with the flute on the table, watches 
him with a sinister smile. ] 

Frederick. 

[After a pause.] You surely would not have me wait, 
Monsieur? 

Botta, 

[Breaking into his reverie with a gloomy frown.] 
Wait? 

Frederick. 

Yes, till your famous army corps, trained under Prince 
Eugene, should clamber down your mountain sides 
among the Spring violets and overwhelm me. 

Botta. 
Sire, it is Christmas tide. 



50 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

I know. The chimes and carols all the evening have 
been annoying me. It was as much as I could do to get 
a few moments of silence for my flute. 

BOTTA. 

The snow fields of Silesia are bitter cold. And the 
mountains, Sire, have sometimes swallowed up whole 
armies in their glaciers. 

Frederick. 

I know. If my good soldiers survive a successful cam- 
paign through a Silesian winter . . . they will be the 
wonder of the world. 

BOTTA. 

Take counsel before it is too late, young King. Your 
regiments will not survive. They have stomachs to be 
starved, as well as feet and noses to be frozen. 

Frederick. 

Let's hope they will not starve. I am having Easter 
eggs painted for their festival of Victory. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 51 

BOTTA. 

Sire, our Silesian peasantry have long been accus- 
tomed to build their graneries within fortresses, 

Frederick. 

My soldiers have long been accustomed to marching 
without food. I have trained them to march twice a 
week on empty stomachs. Besides, when our guns have 
beaten down the walls of Glogau, there will be grain a 
plenty, not to speak of hogs. 

BOTTA. 

[Rising.] And this is the answer I am to take to 
Maria Theresa, Queen of Hungary, and Archduchess of 
Austria ? 

Frederick. 

Hardly necessary, Monsieur the Ambassador from 
Austro-Hungary, I shall take the message myself, in 
person. 

BOTTA. 

[Looks at Frederick a moment in angry scorn.] Sire, 
you have been pleased to speak of the wonder of the 
world. The world will indeed wonder at you, and do 
something more than wonder. 



52 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 
[Bowing.] You flatter me, Monsieur. 

BOTTA. 

Yes, when the world shall hear that you have risked 
your soldiers' lives in dead of winter, against the armies 
of our Prince Eugene. 

Frederick. 

The greater glory, if I whip the armies of your Prince 
Eugene. 

BOTTA, 

When all the world shall hear that you have invaded 
a young Queen's territories, without "by your leave." 

Frederick. 
That was her fault. She would not give me leave. 

BOTTA. 

When London, Paris and Saint Petersburg . . . yes, 
and the very shores of far America shall hear that you 
have tried to snatch her heritage from the gentle hand 
of a woman, England and France, and Russia with her 
hosts, will rise in her defence. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 53 

Frederick. 
Ladies should never mix with politics. 

BOTTA. 

I say, Sire, when the world shall know what you have 
done, without the faintest shadow of a right 

Frederick. 

My rights. Monsieur, are being drawn, in legal form, 
by a man of imagination, a poet and a lawyer, one Mon- 
sieur Voltaire. 

BOTTA. 

Damn Voltaire ! 

Frederick. 

[With a delighted smile.] Again unnecessary. He 
has been already damned by Christendom. 

BOTTA. 

Sire, you have chosen, for your advocate, one who, they 
say, does not believe in God. And yet God shall witness 
as well as the world the deed you undertake this night. 



54 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

[Rising, bowing, and waving Botta away.] If so, 
He must have witnessed the feats of many conquerors. 
My compliments to Maria Theresa, the Queen of Hun- 
gary and Archduchess of Austria. 

Botta. 

You may face her and the Judge of all the world be- 
fore you think. 

Frederick. 

You speak as if they both were in my antechamber. 

Botta. 

[At the door.] It is a wise king. Sire, that knows who 
stands upon his threshold. I will convey your message. 
[Bows and goes out. Silence a moment. Then the Poet 
looks at Frederick, listens and looks away again.] 

Poet. 

Behold one stands at the door, and knocks. [Freder- 
ick, his flute poised in his hand, turns and gazes at the 
Poet. ] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 55 

Frederick. 

I did not hear, [Settles himself in Jiis seat and looks 
at tlie Poet, iritJi some curiosity as Jie takes snuff. After 
a moment.] I wish you well of your ears, Monsieur, 
which seem abnormally acute. You shall hear more 
tonight, if you are not already satisfied about those 
risks I run, and that quality you seek in me, as hero of 
your drama — the quality called heroism. 

Poet. 
Heroism ? 

Frederick. 
Risking life, for pride of life. 

Poet. 
I do not so define it. 

Frederick, 

[Dreamily.] No, You did have quite another defini- 
tion which for the moment I've forgotten. [Looks at 
the Poet inquiringly.] 

Poet, 

I said it was the power that made men part with life. 



56 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

For what? 

Poet. 

For death . . . and birth into a life beyond. 
Frederick. 

[Leaning forward and tapping tJie tahle.] Let me 
tell you something, my young poet. There are many 
ways of twisting many things. You for example want 
to twist me in a drama as a great monarch of a little 
kingdom ; who toils from dawn to dark, to give his sub- 
jects well-tilled barley fields, and Holstein oxen, and 
French opera, and who would throw himself before the 
guns for them in battle should they need a defender. 

Poet, 

It would be a life that any king might choose with 
gleaming eyes. 

Frederick. 

Now let me tell you something, and reflect upon it. I 
do toil from dawn to dark, indeed, and give my subjects 
well-tilled barley fields, and Holstein oxen, and French 
opera. Yes, and Silesian cheese. I risk my life on those 
same battlefields, to give my subjects fresh Silesian 
cheese; but not for my dear subjects' sake or for their 
happiness. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 57 

Poet. 

No? What then? 

Frederick. 

I wish to be the king of a Prussia more feared and 
prosperous than any kingdom of the world. I wish to 
be the conqueror of the fertile valley of Silesia, against 
Austria, France, Russia, and perhaps even England, 
against the Christian world. 

Poet. 

For what then? 

Frederick. 

That I may drink French coffee in my dressing gown, 
while I read my name in the gazettes of various lan- 
guages. Do you see? 

Poet. 

I see. You shall appear in my drama . . , but not as 
hero. 

Frederick, 

You are difficult, Monsieur; like all good lunatics. 



58 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

Yes, I am very sorrowful; for I begin to see what it 
must mean to have the gift of life, with great possessions. 

Frederick. 

One never wishes to diminish them, my friend. 
[Groom opens door.] 

Groom. 

Your Majesty, Monsieur Voltaire. [Frederick, 
springing up, rushes toward Ms guest, Jiis dressing gown 
outspread.] 

Frederick, 
Ah! Mon Ante! 

Voltaire. 
Ma Vie! 

Frederick. 
My Everything! 

Voltaire. 
My All. [Tliey embrace.] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 59 

Voltaire. 

The journey to this Elysium of your embrace, my 
poet among kings, was to me interminable. 

Frederick. 

The ennui of awaiting your interminable journey, my 
king among poets, was to me insupportable. I have been 
forced to assuage my chagrin with a lunatic. Let me 
present to you a young man who calls himself a poet. 
[Voltaire stares and hows stiffly.] 

Frederick. 

Being a poet, he will be an appreciative auditor. Be- 
ing a lunatic, he will not annoy you as a rival. Pray, 
have you had refreshments on the road? [Voltaire 
shakes his head and waves his hand in annoyance.] You 
will sup here with me on a good French pate, and Mo- 
selle wine and cognac. [Pushes Voltaire into one of 
the great chairs.] What have you done upon the road 
to amuse yourself, my long-awaited Divinity? Have 
you criticized my verses? Above all, have you drawn 
the brief to my proud title to Silesia? 

Voltaire. 

Ah ! my Genius King, I have had a thousand douleurs 
on the road. 



60 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

Pray take some snuff, my King of Geniuses. I find it 
excellent for douleurs of all sorts — ague, everything. 

Voltaire. 
[Helping himself to snuff.] Ague? 

Frederick. 

Yes. I have shaken with the ague, in my impatience 
to see you. 

Voltaire. 

I wonder if ague was my malady. I have had a thou- 
sand, as I said. Migraine, distemper, gout, and gall- 
stones, not to speak of jaundice, pleurisy, and 

Frederick. 
Prize of all my possessions, let us not speak of them. 

Voltaire. 
[Angrily.] How? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 61 

Frederick. 

Here comes the meal my French cook has prepared. 
Sucre Coq! I must get into my court clothes for the 
ball. \To Poet. J Pray serve Monsieur Voltaire and 
yourself. {Motions to Groom.] 

Voltaire. 

For the ball? 

Frederick. 

In honor of Monsieur Voltaire, Prince of the Pen. 
[Has Ms coat, waistcoat, and slioes cJianged hy Groom.] 

Voltaire. 

[T7irowi7ig liimself hack and closing Jiis eyes.] Ah! I 
have had such weariness with writing on the way! I 
wish never to see a pen. 

Frederick. 

[Sits before tlie dressing mirror while tlie Groom curls 
his cue.] Don't tell me, you vital breath of my exist- 
ence, that you are too weary to read me my title to 
Silesia? 



62 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Voltaire. 

Title to Silesia, my most exorbitant of callow Royal- 
ties ! What time had I to think of your title to Silesia ? 
My Hcnriadc was under criticism in the Paris Grand 
Opera House. 

Frederick. 

[Coining forward.] And? 

Voltaire. 

And I was writing tirades! such as my critics can 
never read and live. [Takes snuff with an air of exulta- 
tion.] 

Frederick. 

[Claps liis liands.] Bravo! [Seating himself and 
helping Voltaire to food.] Insert a tirade on my ene- 
mies into my title to Silesia. 

Voltaire. 

[Turning from his food in disgust.] Title to Silesia! 
title to Silesia! title to Silesia! My dear preposterous 
young king, I fear you have not the true poetic tempera- 
ment. With Crebillon attacking me, disputing my su- 
premacy as the first poet of the world, what time had 
I to think about — [in contempt] — your title to Silesia? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 63 

Frederick. 

[Leaning hack and looking shocked.] Don't tell me, 
Supreme Poet of the world, you have not written out 
the brief of my title to Silesia ! 

Voltaire. 

Supreme importunity of audacity! Have I not 
spoken of my migraine, my pleurisy, my 

Frederick. 

[Leaning forward and tapping the table with his 
finger.] Yes, yes, my King of the Drama; your jaun- 
dice, gout, and gallstones. But you forget London, 
Paris, and St. Petersburg must read my title while I 
am marching over the Silesian frontier in the sunrise 
tomorrow. 

Voltaire. 

What! You march away tomorrow? 

Frederick. 
Before sunrise. 

Voltaire. 

I should never have endured the inconveniences of a 
journey from Paris to Berlin had I known this. 



64 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

But, my Emperor of Dramatic Situations, I wrote 
you my intention. 

Voltaire. 

But, my Schoolboy of Sovereigns, I did not believe 
you! 

Frederick. 
But 

Voltaire. 
But 

Frederick. 

My regiments are entrained tonight. 

Voltaire. 

But my Alexandrines are finished! I intended to 
read you my new drama in the morning. 

Frederick. 

Magnificent! Practice it on this young poet till my 
return. Then we shall have a festival with its perform- 
ance at my victorious entry into Berlin. Meanwhile . . . 
my title to Silesia. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 65 

Voltaire. 
[Slapping tJie table.] A has your title to Silesia! 

Frederick. 

[Slapping the other side of the table.] On the con- 
trary, my dear Prince of Fiction, produce it from your 
stocking! ... or I'll present you with a mitten. 

Voltaire. 
[Rising in fury.] What, my conge! 

Frederick. 
For what did I send you a gold coach? 

Voltaire. 

[Pacing about.] An old one of your crazy father's 
that three times broke its wheels. 

Frederick. 

For what have I assigned you sixty thousand francs a 
year together with a title of nobility? 



66 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Voltaire. 

To grace your graceless court and read my Alexan- 
drines. 

Frederick. 

[Shrugging.] Tut! I can read them in a paper 
cover. [Witli sudden ivJieedling.] Come, Incomparable 
of Wits, I bought your wit to work, for one thing, on 
my rights and title to Silesia. 

Voltaire. 

[Pacing about.] Rights, . . . they are a vacuum. 
Title, ... it does not exist, except outside the universe. 

Frederick. 
Until your creative faculty create them. 

Voltaire. 
I bargained for nothing so bourgeois. 

Frederick. 

[WitTi spitting irony.] Sixty thousand francs for a 
first reading of your Alexandrines! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 67 

Voltaire. 

Sixty thousand francs, you Counter- Jumper King! 
. . . Sixty thousand francs are cJieap for a first hearing 
of my Alexandrines. If I'm to do your dirty lawyer's 
work besides, ... I'll take it out in perquisites. 
[Pockets some candles, as Jie passes one of the sconces. 
Frederick watches him amused.] 

Frederick. 

Five tallow candles are cheap for a legal title to 
Silesia. [Voltaire seats himself in a half -mollified huff.] 

Frederick. 

Now to business. Did you receive my communication, 
carefully drawn up, about the Erhverhruderung? 

Voltaire. 

Erhverhruderung! Why should I pain my sensibili- 
ties with a language of such barbarities? 

Frederick. 

Most Imperial of Wits, I hoped you would translate 
its barbarities into sublimities. 



68 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Voltaire. 

Sublimities! I must have something to be sublime 
about. I tell you, your E 7'b verb ruder ung is . . . dish- 
water. 

Frederick. 

Have some wine. [Voltaire tastes it.] True 
Moselle. 



Not bad at all. 



Voltaire. 



Frederick. 



"With good wine in your throat, Most Sublime of Poets, 
and six tallow candles in your pocket, ... I hope you 
will not have the inhumanity to deny me an epigram 
for the gazettes about my rightful invasion of Silesia. 

Voltaire. 

[Sipping tJie wine.] The wine is exceptional. The 
candles, as you say, are mere tallow. [ Takes out one and 
examines it.] How many regiments of horse have you 
on the frontiers of Silesia? 

Frederick. 
Eight. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 69 

Voltaire. 

[Sipping wine again.] We should call that a mere 
goutte in France. 

Frederick. 

It is the weakest arm of my service. I should not 
care to face the cavalry of France, while my artillery 
was engaged with Austria. You see, I prefer to meet 
France at bar and bench. And so I have been a trifle 
fussy about this title to 

Voltaire. 

[Holding up Jiis glass to tJie ligJit.] You tell me you 
are on the road tomorrow morning? You would not 
have to face cavalry of France, while your artillery was 
engaged with Austria. 

Frederick. 
True, Incomparable of Wits. 

Voltaire. 
How many regiments of cannoneers have you? 



70 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

Fifteen, They are sufficient for all the Queen of 
Hungary can get into Silesia, in twelve months. ... if 
Russia does not set her foot to interfere. Therefore I 
wish to employ her time in reading up my title. 

Voltaire. 

[Sipping again.] How many regiments of foot has 
Russia to her hand? 

Frederick, 

Fifty. But not three to her hand. 

Voltaire. . 
Against what of yours? 

Frederick. 
Against seventy-five. 

Voltaire. 
Ready to j^our hand? 

Frederick. 

Ready to fight twenty-five of Austria. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 71 

Voltaire. 

[With clean-cut emphasis.] Then, Incomparable of 
Kings, I would make it known to all the world, gazettes 
of London, Paris, Petersburg, that you have eight plus 
fifteen plus seventy-five regiments, a hundred thousand 
men ... a good round hundred thousand reasons for 
capturing Silesia. 

Frederick. 

[Springing to his feet.] Magnificent, Incomparable, 
Adorable of Wits and Poet Lawyers! [To the Groom.] 
Send me my secretary. It shall go to every press in 
Europe. [Exit Groom. 

A round hundred thousand reasons for capturing 
Silesia ! 

Voltaire. 

Most volatile of Kings, I seem to remember to have 
found you in an ague fit. 

Frederick. 

It has left me. Most Intrepid of Dramatists. You 
are more efficacious than every drug of Araby. I feel 
my ague has left me never to return. Do you hear 
that Monsieur the Poet Lunatic? A good round hun- 
dred thousand reasons for capturing Silesia! 



72 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

[Enter Groom.] 

Groom. 

Your Majesty, they await you to open the court ball. 

Frederick. 

[Bending over Voltaire, and offering Ms arm.] 
Monsieur Voltaire, the Poet, Wit, and Lawyer of his age ! 
. . . Monsieur Voltaire and I will open the Court Ball. 
[TJiey turn together to go out.] A good round hundred 
thousand reasons for capturing Silesia. 

[Enter, in court dress and mask, Maria Theresa, 
who stands before them. Frederick and Vol- 
taire break asunder, and stand each a little to 
one side of her.] 

Frederick. 

[Bowing low.] Madame, whoever you may be, your 
domino but ill conceals your beauty. I am about to open 
the Court Ball, Madame. The opening minuet shall be 
with you, Madame, Will you have the goodness to 
inform me, at least, whom you impersonate? 

Maria Theresa. 

Maria Theresa. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 73 

Frederick. 

Ah! The plot thickens. Do you hear this, King 
of Dramatists? 

Voltaire. 

[Taking snuff and looking at Marie Theresa with head 
atilt.] Madame is well cast for her role. The throat 
and carriage is imperial. 

Frederick. 

The ears and eyebrows might be those of a Kaiser's 
daughter. Why did you choose the part, Madame! 

Maria Theresa. 
To see if the preposterous could be true. 

Frederick. 

Indeed, you pique my curiosity. Pray have a chair! 
The ball can wait. 

Maria Theresa. 

I'm afraid I shall never sit as friend to friend with 
you. 



74 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

Admirable. She does the part as though bred up to 
it. Will you act in the masterpieces of this gentleman, 
come here to grace my graceless court? This is the 
great Voltaire. 

Maria Theresa. 

He is well placed at your court. I hear that he does 
not believe in God. 

Frederick. 

Madame, he is an intellectual. With such God is out 
of fashion. 

Maria Theresa. 
Your Majesty must also be an intellectual. 

Frederick. 
[Bowing.] You flatter me. 

Maria Theresa. 
I have not come here to flatter you. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 75 

Frederick. 

Then why put on a mask ? Come, take it off. I '11 not 
betray you when we dance. You shall be heralded as 
Maria Theresa, and nothing more. Come. I'm sure 
your beauty does not fear a judge. This gentleman, 
Voltaire, is a great judge of beauty. Permit him to sit 
down. He has migraine. [Places a chair for Voltaire.] 

Voltaire. 

And pleurisy. 

Frederick. 

And jaundice, gout, and gallstones. But nothing to 
impair his intellect. He is the greatest intellectual of 
his age. Will you not sit, Madame? [Maria Theresa 
shakes Tier head. Frederick seats himself.] And now, 
Madame, let our eyes feast while our ears drink in your 
conversation. Come, while you disport yourself as 
Maria Theresa, Queen of Hungary and Archduchess, 
you seem to forget that I am King of those particular 
square inches that you're standing on. 

Maria Theresa. 

[Takes off the mask.] But not one inch of my great 
province of Silesia. 



76 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick and Voltaire. 

[Together.] Ah! 

Voltaire. 

She is indeed of a beauty to bewilder. She outdoes 
the part. 

Frederick. 

And so like pictures of the Queen, Madame, you 
startled me. Who got you up ? Was it that rascal por- 
trait painter, Pesne ? Who are you in brief, Madame ? 

Maria Theresa. 

It must content you for tonight to look at me as Maria 
Theresa. 

Frederick. 

It does not content me. 

Maria Theresa. 

No ! It will content you less to hear me. 

Frederick. 

Speak on, you handsome minx. I like to hear you 
speak. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 77 

Maria Theresa. 

To say two things I give myself the indignity of 
speaking to you. 

Frederick. 

Would they were twenty, for the indignity. Come, 
such a compliment, is it not worth a smile? 

Maria Theresa. 

I ask you what it is worth to you to rob, like a thief 
in the night, the daughter of the king who saved your 
life. 

Frederick. 

Ah, epigrams, my pretty one. Do you hear that, Wit 
of the World? 

Voltaire. 

[ReacTiing for Ms wine glass.] Assuredly. It needs 
a repartee. 

Frederick. 

What is it worth to rob the daughter of the king who 
saved my life by a letter to my angry father? What 
did the letter cost the king to save my life ? That is my 
answer. How much did it cost him? Picks up a scrap 
of paper and tears it in two. Just a scrap of paper. 
It was long ago destroyed. 



78 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Maria Theresa. 
And with it your last shred of honor. 

Voltaire. 

Your acting is superb, Madame. I engage you, if you 
will, for my new tragedy. 

Frederick. 

And when I return from my campaign with the Aus- 
trian Silesians, perhaps with French, with Russians, 
and with Englishmen, when I am thin and haggard from 
my grand campaigns, I shall engage you to read me the 
account in the gazettes of Frederick the Great. 

Maria Theresa. 
A scrap of paper. ' 

Frederick. 

Pnrhleu, Madame, if you should tear it up, I should 
have to woo you with my flute. I always have my flute. 
[Picks up the flute.] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 79 

Maria Theresa. 

[Suddenly covering Tier eyes.] Play, play upon your 
flute. [Uncovering her eyes.] And see if its notes be 
sweeter than the gratitude of a queen who would have 
trained her son to imitate your very walk, if you were 
willing to be great. [Clasps Tier hanging hands.] 

Frederick. 

Ah, Madame, did you take me perhaps for some Rhine 
Prince? I shall be called Frederick the Great, but not 
from gratitude. I shall be called ''the Great" because 
there are good reasons for me and my good flute. 

Maria Theresa. 

Play on, Frederick, miscalled "the Great," and see if 
your flute notes will drown the groanings of my slaugh- 
tered subjects and give their reasons. 

[Slie turns and goes out. 

Frederick. 

[Calling after her.] Ah, Madame, Madame, if your 
femininity but knew, I have a hundred thousand good 
round reasons for conquering Silesia. Come, Monsieur 
of the Incomparable Wit, we must pursue the lady and 
open the Court Ball. [He offers his arm to Voltaire.] 
[They start to go out when the Poet suddenly blocks 
their way.] 



80 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

King of Incomparable Obliquity 

Frederick. 

Really, Monsieur, you credit me with too much amia- 
bility. Because I have allowed you to be at large this 
evening, does not mean I release you from the guard- 
house. Heinrich, this gentleman, you understand, is 
under immediate arrest. 

[Heinrich salutes and goes out. 
Poet. 

King of a hundred thousand fighting men, you, too, 
are under an arrest. The deeds that this dark night 
you have devised, the world shall echo them, until your 
ears long turned to dust shall ache. 

Frederick, 

I so intended of the world. It is my kettle-drum. 

Poet. 

And you shall beat upon it your funeral march to 
infamy. I came and saw how a great soul could choose 
to do a little deed, and love its littleness. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 81 

Frederick, 

Tut, tut, this mighty world is but a microcosm. 
[Flourishes Ms flute.] Pluto, come do the Austrian 
Strangle. [Begins to play. Pluto and Poker dance 
out in front of Mm. Frederick turns at tJie door.] 
Bon Soir, le Poete Lunatique. When you are born, write 
a great drama, explaining my hundred thousand reasons. 

Poet. 
I shall. 

[Frederick goes out with Voltaire. Chimes are 
heard pealing as the Poet stands alone.] 

CURTAIN. 



[Chimes still ring while thick clouds drift by, at 
last revealing the belfry, as before, where the 
Spirit of the Reed stands and listens to the 
chimes, as the clouds blow through the arches of 
the belfry, and finally reveal the Poet's face.] 

Poet. 
Master ! 

Spirit of the Heed. 
Son. 

Poet. 
Pride of Life is known to me. 

Spirit op the Reed. 

And dear? 

Poet. 

Sir, if before I asked one life 
To give, I ask a thousand now. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Thou Shalt 
Have one, in God 's good time, to give, to give 
Or to withhold, from me thy Lord. 

82 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 83 

Poet. 

Where shall 
I find thee, Lord ? 

Spirit op the Reed. 

Wherever thou shalt find 
My broken reed. 

Poet. 

There will I die. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And live. 
It is the power of this my reed, that each 
Time I am smitten, thousands rise to fight 
For me, to die and live. 

Poet. 

I bum to live and die. 

[Chimes, and concealing clouds.] 



ACT II 

Time : July 26, 1914. 

Scene: A small Danish island near RUgen. At the 
left, just above the treetops, are the prongs of a 
small wireless station. Through an opening of the 
trees in the center, a little out to sea, is visible a 
yacht flying the German Imperial flag. 

YoLANDE is seen alone petting her Belgian Police 
dog, crouching beside him, and stroking hack his 
ears as he barks. 

YOLANDE. 

And was he afraid of the buzzy-box again? And 
couldn't he ever learn that his future master was talk- 
ing out of the buzzy-box, a hundred miles away. Yes, 
his future master. Yes, of course he would. Now, now, 
now, barking again! "What's the matter? [Springing 
to her feet and holding the dog by the collar.] 

[Enter the Poet in tweeds.] 

Poet. 

Forgive me, mademoiselle. Do I intrude on private 
property? 

85 



86 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

On the contrary, Monsieur, more public, I believe, 
than any circus on the continent. 

Poet. 

Indeed, Mademoiselle, I didn't guess it. In fact I 
thought that over yonder was the Kaiser's yacht, 
Holienzollern. 

YOLANDE. 

It is. 

Poet. 

I was filled with a curiosity to see it. 

Yolande. 
It fills me with more than curiosity. 

Poet. 
Me, too. 

Yolande. 
You are then an Englishman? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 87 

Poet. 
No. I have the good fortune to be born in America. 

YOLANDE. 

Does that mean you are a friend or an enemy? 

Poet. 

A friend to whom, Mademoiselle ? America is a friend 
to everything high-minded, and large-hearted, and 
honorable. 

YOLANDE. 

Then you must be a friend of mine. I am a Belgian. 
And we Belgians think more of honor . . . than we do 
... of dog biscuit, don't we. Brand? 

Poet. 

[Bowing with Ms Jiat off.] I have the honor to be 
your friend, Mademoiselle. [Wireless begins to buzz. 
Yolande rushes to the little station with her finger on 
her lips.] Hush! If you are my friend you will keep 
my secret. 

Poet. 
What is it? 



88 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

[Holding her hand up.] Wireless. [Clasps her hands 
in excitement.] Courage! Courage! [Transmits a 
message. Turning to Poet.] I am at your mercy. This 
is my little wireless station. I am a new woman, Mon- 
sieur. 

Poet. 

But, Mademoiselle, you have just said we were friends. 
I am ashamed to tell you after that that I don't under- 
stand your message. 

YOLANDE. 

It was in cipher. And I am ashamed of distrusting 
you, Monsieur. 

Poet. 

You may trust me, Mademoiselle, even after I learn 
wireless, as a good journalist should. 

YOLANDE. 

Oh, are you, for example, a journalist? Then you 
have great power in your hands. How happy you must 
be in these days to have power. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 89 

Poet. 

On the contrary, I was rather cursing my luck to have 
to "journal" for a living, instead of 

YOLANDE. 

Instead of what? 

Poet. 

[Knocking some grasses ivitJi Ms stick.] Oh, instead 
of just being an out and out poet, and doing nothing 
else but write poetry. 

YOLANDE. 

Doesn't the woman you love want you to be a jour- 
nalist ? 

Poet. 

Since you are so charming as to be interested, I may 
as well tell you the woman I love doesn't care a tennis 
racket what I am. 

YOLANDE. 

[Clasping Tier hands and gasping.] Oh! Are you 
sure? 



90 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

Yes, quite sure. She doesn't even know my face, 
except as a rather silent acquaintance. She might, if 
she read the poetry I am full of. 

YOLANDE. 

And doesn't she? 

Poet. 

[Shaking his head.] No. Very little of it is even in 
print. 

YoLANDE. 

But she will ! But she will ! 
Poet. 
I hope so, some day. 

YOLANDE. 

She surely will, Monsieur. It always happens that 
way. I didn't know my lover, till all of a sudden, he 
did something wonderful. 

Poet. 
And since then? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 91 

YOLANDE. 

Since then we both began to live. 

Poet, 

[Turning away and lookmg off into tJie distance.] 
Since then you both began to live. [Turning hack.] 
Do you know, Mademoiselle, I have the strange con- 
viction that for me to begin to live, would be giving 
myself up to die. 

YOLANDE. 

It is. It is, Monsieur, You are a poet. You say 
things we others only feel . . . feel in our finger-tips and 
paws, don't we. Brand? Raoul ... he is my lover, he 
feels it, too. We both feel it. If you could have known 
what the little buzzer was saying a moment ago you 
would be convinced that I understand. 

Poet. 
Is it indiscreet to ask you what it said? 

YOLANDE. 

I trust you. You couldn't know what we feel, unless 
you felt as we do. [Hesitates.] The message was from 
my fiance, Monsieur, He is an officer in our Belgian 
army. He told me news I had been waiting for. [Hesi- 
tates. TJien hursts into tears, covers Tier face and sohs.] 



92 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

[Stands watcJiing Tier. After a moment.] Is it so 
bad as you believe ? 

YOLANDE. 

It means the King of Belgium, and his army, is pre- 
pared for the worst. Monsieur. 

Poet. 

But, but. . . . There is no worst. This war talk will 
blow over. Take my word, as a journalist, for it. 

YOLANDE, 

[Looks at Mm searchingly a moment.] If I could 
believe you, I would stay here with my married sister, 
who is ill. But I can't, but I can't . . . believe in your 
hope, Monsieur. I must go back to my father and mother 
in Belgium. My father is the Comte de Malines. His 
daughters ... we should no more think of deserting 
Belgium . . . than Brand would. Would we. Brand? 
[Pets the dog.] He would like to wear a uniform like 
his master. Wouldn't you be beautiful in red and gold? 
[Sadly poking the ground with her toe.] If I wear a 
uniform, it will be red and white. 

Poet. 
Red and white? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 93 

YOLANDE. 

[Nodding Jier head.] White with a red cross. 

Poet. 
But my dear young lady! 

YOLANDE. 

Yes. War means women, too. 

Poet. 
But my dear young 

YOLANDE. 

Young idiot, you would like to say. Don't American 
girls understand wireless? 

Poet. 

Not all of them. 

YOLANDE. 

I thought they were more advanced than we are. We 
shall need advanced women when war comes. 



94 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

But it is not coming. War is a thing of the past. 
Why the very bankers wouldn't stand for it. 

YOLANDE. 

Oh, Monsieur. You are not all bankers in America, 
are you? You will come to our assistance, won't you? 
[Suddenly covering Jier eyes.] We shall be the first to 
fall. 

Poet. 

Mademoiselle, it's hard to believe how anyone so 
blooming as you are should be talking in nightmares. 

YOLANDE. 

It is, it is a nightmare. We are all asleep but Ger- 
many. Oh, Monsieur, you, who are a poet and jour- 
nalist, pray, I pray you, help to wake your country up. 

Poet. 

America will always have to be reckoned with, if it's 
a case of rescue. We have the reputation of adoring 
the dollar. It's because we idealize the dollar. We are 
a nation of idealists, when the last word is said. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 95 

YOLANDE. 

I knew it, I knew it! We send our love to America, 
Brand and I. [Blov}s a kiss across the sea. Listens.] 
Hush! Quick! Inhere! [She catches tlie Foet hy the 
hand and pulls him into a thicket to the left.] 

[Through the central opening of the woods ^ come 
tlie Kaiser and Von Falkenhayn. The Kaiser 
is in yachting suit, Von Falkenhayn in Gen- 
eral's field uniform. The Kaiser moves in nervous 
jerks. Falkenhayn maintains a steady scowl.] 

Kaiser. 

Wireless is not so thick as we thought, eh, Falken- 
hayn? 

Falkenhayn. 

I certainly thought I saw it. 

Kaiser. 

You see too much. Nein, nein, War Minister von 
Falkenhayn, you are not the first Minister of War to 
have your head turntabled, because I stand in shining 
armor. For the present, I am the friend of Peace, as 
I am the friend of God. 



96 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Falkenhayn. 

[RatJier sulkily.] All Highest, the friend of Peace 
and God is at a tiger hunt. 

Kaiser." 

How so? 

Falkenhayn. 

Do you imagine that when Austria has gobbled up her 
Serbia, the rest of Europe will watch complacently, 
while Austria licks her chops? 

Kaiser. 

[Poking Von Falkenhayn in the ribs.] I have stolen 
a march on all you wiseacres in Berlin. You think be- 
cause I allowed you to frame the Austrian ultimatum, 
and because I permitted you in June to call up the 
Territorials, and because I let Von Jagow warn the 
other nations not to interfere, you think the Day has 
come. 

Falkenhayn. 

It has, your Majesty. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 97 

Kaiser. 

[Holding Ms sides and laugliing.] Ho ho, my good 
glum Falkenhayn! Don't think you can change the 
children's school maps from pink to violet in a day. 
Mittel-Europa ! Your Buffer Empire, your Eastern 
Grab Bag. ... It will come, all in good time. But not 
today. 

Falkenhayn. 

It has come, Majesty. The day is here. 

Kaiser. 

Nein, nein, good Falkenhayn, You are a sharp states- 
man, and a shrewd strategist as well. But don't be 
blinded by a mouthful of smoke from Austrian guns. 

Falkenhayn. 

I am not blinded, Majesty. Yesterday the first Aus- 
trian hoof stamped upon Serbian soil, and in that mo- 
ment it staked out another frontier of our Empire. 

Kaiser. 

You have imagination, Falkenhayn, I admit it, . . . 
almost as great as mine. But don't be blinded by the 
dust of Austrian cavalry either. 



98 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Falkenhayn. 

I am not. 

Kaiser, 

[Taps Von Falkenhayn 's breast.] Let Austrian 
dragoons stamp Serbia into one vast parade ground for 
our armies in the East. Yes, ... en route, en route from 
Berlin to Bagdad. But just en route! You've not your 
Eastern Grab Bag yet. Serbia is not Russia, Poland, 
Lithuania and Ukraine. The Day has not yet come. 
[Paces about.] It's not for two years hence. Old 
Tirpitz and I know. The Day has not yet come. 

Falkenhayn. 

[WitJi a spitting flash.] The Crown Prince knows it, 
your Majesty, whether you and Von Tirpitz do or 
not. 

Kaiser. 

[Dasliing up and down, ivitli clenclied flsts.] Gott 
strafe, do you quote that Dunderhead to me again? 

Falkenhayn. 

He voices the belief of nine-tenths of the brains of 
your Empire. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 99 

Kaiser. 

[Stopping suddenly.] It is well he has a voice for 
others' brains. He has none of his own. Hark you, 
Falkenhayn, with a Crown Prince's Party, I am not 
to be threatened. Do you hear! [Puts Jiis finger close 
to Von Falkenhayn 's nose.] I am the War Lord of 
my Empire. 

Falkenhayn. 

[Glaring sidewise.] Your Majesty has well said 
''War Lord"! 

Kaiser. 

[Starting back.] How so? 

Falkenhayn. 

Because from this day forth, peace is impossible. 
[The Kaiser stands, legs apart, arms folded, one liand 
tugging Ms ear, as lie scrutinizes Von Falkenhayn, wlio 
continues slowly.] I have been trying to prepare the 
mind of your Majesty for news I have just heard. 

Kaiser. 

[Still tugging Ms ear.] Well, well. What is it? 
What? Out with it? 



100 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Falkenhatn. 

Russia is mobilizing . . . from Vladivostock to Peters- 
burg, from Novgorod to Ukraine. 

Kaiser. 

[Breaks into a boisterous laugh, arid slaps Tiis tMgli, 
dasJiing away to pace about.] Mere bluff, Von Falken- 
hayn. A bluff that I shall call. [Takes out Ms watcli.] 
I can be in Berlin by tonight. Nicky and I shall have a 
pretty bout of telegrams. 

Falkenhayn. 

[Earnestly.] Majesty, it has gone beyond a bout of 
telegrams between you and the Czar. 

Kaiser. 

[Turning quickly.] How so? You glowering Death 's 
Head, you! Have you not told me a thousand times 
that Russia is always three years ahead of Germany in 
the field of diplomacy? 

Falkenhatn. 
She is, your Majesty. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 101 

Kaiser. 

Well? And do you mean to tell me that her great 
blundering Bear, she calls an army, does not know three 
years ahead that England is powerless to help her? 
Count France a dead dog. 

Falkenhayn. 

[WitJi a dark look.] England will not be powerless. 
France is not yet dead. 

Kaiser. 

[Patting Falkenhayn.] Donner und Blitzen! You 
are a great statesman, Falkenhayn, as well as an astute 
strategist. But you've not yet learned, it seems, the 
lesson of Treitschke, which he learned from my for- 
bear, Frederick the Great, . . . that the State is Power, 
and Power resides in the monarch. I am the Monarch 
of Europe. 

Falkenhayn. 

Europe, All Highest, will not dispute that in words! 
[After a pause.\ England has guns. 

Kaiser. 

[Flashing hack.] By sea, but not by land. 



102 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Falkenhayn. 

Then why does your Majesty not attack her? 

Kaiser. 

[Wiili a superior smile.] That is Von Tirpitz's and 
my secret. In two years we shall have better guns by 
sea. 

Falkenhayn. 

And if England . . . will not wait ? 

Kaiser. 

[WiiTi a quick catching at Ids ear.] How so? 

Falkenhayn. 

If England stands by her Allies? 

Kaiser. 

With that contemptible little army! It cannot even 
put down an Irish Rebellion. No, England will not 
fight, and Russia knows it. And I tonight shall call 
Czar Nicky's bluff, and command him to demobilize. 
Yes, he shall leave Austria to clean up Serbia. I '11 even 
threaten Nicky through my German agents with depo- 
sition. Come, don't look so glum. Your Buffer Empire, 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 103 

you shall have it yet. I swear it by old Tirpitz's beard. 
Did I not last March arrange for the toe of your Buffer 
Empire with Constantine in Greece? I tell you, Falken- 
hayn, the State is Power, and Power resides in the 
monarch. Wait, till, like my forbear, Frederick, wait 
till the day I have my hundi-ed thousand reasons. 

Falkenhayn. 

Meaning ships. The Day is here, All-Highest, whether 
you have the ships or no. 

Kaiser. 

[Blazing and clencJiing Ms fists.] "What, do you 
threaten me? 

Falkenhayn. 

Is it a threat to ask you to consider an abstract propo- 
sition ? 

Kaiser. 

[Dropping his arms.] How so? 

Falkenhayn. 

Suppose that England, who cannot put down an Irish 
Rebellion, should stand by her allies. 



104 THE KAISER'S EEASONS 

Kaiser, 

[Telling.] Then, by God in Heaven, we shall crush 
her. Coast to coast, and crag to crag, and cloud-high 
tower to tower. 

Falkenhayn. 
In what way? 

Kaiser. 
By land and sea. 

FalkenhayNj 
Which first? 

Kaiser. 

By land, from coast end to coast end. 

Falkenhayn. 

By Calais and by Dover, at the same moment we are 
crippling France and permitting Russia to overnin our 
Socialists on the Eastern Frontier. 

Kaiser. 

You have imagination, Falkenhayn . . . almost as great 
as mine. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 105 

Falkenhayn. 

[Producing a paper.] What is imagination without 
power. [Hands tJie paper to the Kaiser, wlio seizes it 
and unfolds it.] "The State is Power, and Power re- 
sides in the monarch. ' ' 

Kaiser. 

[Looking at the paper.] What is this? 

Falkenhayn. 

Power resides in the monarch, Majesty, It is an order 
for mobilization. We need it signed, while we await 
your hundred thousand reasons. 

Kaiser. 

[Reads as he tugs his ear.] Hm, hm. This provides, 
as usual, for crossing first of all the Belgian Frontier. 

Falkenhayn. 

Selhst verstdndlich ... an axiom as old as Bernhardi. 
How else are we to crush your England, coast to coast, 
and crag to crag, while we are crippling France? 



106 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

\ Tugging his ear, and gazing at the paper.] And, as 
usual, the question arises: If Belgium resists 

Falkenhayn. 

Then we crush Belgium, from cloud-high tower to 
cloud-high tower. Here is a fountain pen, your Majesty. 
[Kaiser stares at it. Falkenhayn pushes the pen for- 
iva7'd.] We need your signature. 

Kaiser. 
[Still stares at the pen.] From tower to coast. 

Falkenhayn. 

England and France, via Belgium. [Holding out the 
pen.] 

Kaiser. 

[Still stares at it.] Twelve hundred thousand men. 

Falkenhayn. 
Against ten little regiments. It is the whirlwind. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 107 

Kaiser. 

[After a silence of staring.] The whirlwind! . . . 
[Covering Jiis eyes with liis right Tiand.] And I sowed 
the wind. 

Falkenhayn. 

The whirlwind, Majesty. The game is ours. [Presses 
the pen against the Kaiser's hand. Brand harks, is 
restrained, then hursts forth, dragging his mistress. 
Falkenhayn scowls in a fury. The Kaiser starts hack, 
and looks at the dog as though in terror.] 

Yolande. 

[Breathless.] Don't be frightened, Sire! He is just 
a Police dog. He will not bite . . . unless you attack 
him ... or his mistress. 

Kaiser. 

[With an effort recovering himself.] Is he Belgian, 
Mademoiselle ? 

Yolande. 

[Straightens herself up.] Yes, Sire, we both are 
Belgian. 



108 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

[Staring at Tier as tJiougJi distraught.] Twelve hun- 
dred thousand men, [With a wild laugh.] A hundred 
thousand reasons. 

YOLANDE, 

The number of our little Belgian army, Sire. 

Kaiser. 

[Pulling himself together.] I was merely quoting a 
saying, Mademoiselle, of my forebear, Frederick, the 
Great. He was an interesting old fellow. 

YOLANDE. 

Not so interesting to the world, today, as you are, 
Sire. 

Kaiser. 
[Beaming.] How so? 

YOLANDB. 

And Silesia is not so interesting as Belgium. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 109 

Kaiser. 
[Tugging Ms ear.] You have read history. 

YOLANDE. 

A little, Sire. 

Kaiser. 

Women should occupy themselves with four things. 
Do you know what they are? 

YOLANDE. 

[Smiling, counts on Jier fingers.] Church, cooking, 
clothes, and children. 

Kaiser. 

[Beaming again.] I see you know my maxims. 

YOLANDE. 

I know many things about you, Sire. 

Kaiser. 

[With a hroad smile, twirling Ms moustache.] In- 
deed! Pray tell me what you know. 



110 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

You. have a responsive comprehension. 
Kaiser. 

Yes? How do you know that? Who told you so? 
Are you sure of it? What else do you know? 

YOLANDE. 

You have a large imagination. 

Kaiser. 

Do you hear that, Falkenhayn? [Falkenhayn 
grunts.] Falkenhayn doesn't realize that, yet, although 
he has an imagination of his own. How did you know 
about my imagination, Mademoiselle? 

YoLANDE. 

You think in great numbers, Sire. It appalled you, 
the idea of opposing twelve hundred thousand men and 
horse and guns against our little army. 

Kaiser. 

[Bristling.] Oppose you? Are you not my friends? 
Why should I oppose my friends? Wherein consists the 
opposition? Why do you say oppose? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 111 

YOLANDE. 

Why, indeed, oppose? 

Kaiser. 
You mean your army may oppose itself to ni«. 

YoLANDE. 

If you break into Belgium, our little army will oppose 
your twelve hundred thousand men and horse and guns. 

Kaiser. 

[Tugging his ear.] Mademoiselle, you are presuming 
to know about a good deal more than cooking and 
children. 

YOLANDE. 

I can cook, Sire, and I love children. But I do know 
something more. 

Kaiser. 

What do you know about the Belgian army? 



112 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

I know wireless. My lover is in the King's Guards. 
Our little army will oppose you . . . my lover in arms, 
and the woman he loves unarmed, and all the women of 
Belgium, and the children. How does that strike your 
royal imagination? 

Kaiser. 

I could weep for you. 

YoLANDE. 

With your responsive comprehension. 

Kaiser. 
My heart bleeds for you. 

YoLANDE. 

And so you will tear up that paper in your hand. 

Kaiser. 

Mademoiselle, this is not a kindergarten party. You 
know no more of war than a little Belgian sparrow, or 
you would not speak of my tearing up a paper. War 
is war. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 113 

YOLANDE. 

[Clasping her Jiands.] Tell me, then, what is war. 
Come, tell me. [Seats Jierself on the bench.] 

Kaiser. 

Falkenhajm, lend me your writing tablet. I will begin 
our bout of telegrams. [He writes while Yolande pats 
the dog's head. Kaiser hands the telegratns to Falken- 
HAYN.] That will reach Petersburg by noon, I'm 
thinking. 

Falkenhayn. 
Shall I sign it, Majesty? You have not signed. 

Kaiser. 
Yes. Sign it: "Willy." 

Falkenhayn. 

[After reading it.] It is useless, Majesty. [Signing.] 
Useless, All Highest. 

Kaiser. 

Nevertheless, see that it goes, from the masthead of the 

Hohenzollern, and come to me again in fifteen minutes. 

[Falkenhayn reluctantly leaves.] 



114 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

And now tell me, Sire, tell me what is war. 

Kaiser, 

Something, my dear young lady, I hope you will never 
know. 

YOLANDE. 

How can I help knowing it, if twelve hundred regi- 
ments come marching and riding through my father's 
gardens? 

Kaiser. 

By all your people not opposing them, you will be 
safeguarded, man and woman, child, yes, and the very 
beast. 

YOLANDE. 

And, suppose, Sire, our honor be too dear to us for 
that? 

Kaiser. 

Honor, Mademoiselle! Where will your honor be, 
with batteries shelling every tower that has graced your 
land? Honor! . . . with drunken soldiers forcing every 
door, where there are women and unmarried girls. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 115 

YOLANDE. 

Will all your twelve hundred thousand soldiers be 
drunk? 

Kaiser. 

Where there are wine-cellars, and power to open them, 
there is always drunkenness. And power itself, Made- 
moiselle, is a kind of drunkenness. 

YOLANDE. 

I see. 

Kaiser. 

The State is Power. The great state has great power. 
And power resides in the monarch. 

YOLANDE. 

Does that mean your Majesty may be intoxicated? 

Kaiser. 

[Rising, with a ivild laugJi, slapping his thigh, and 
then sobering down.] It may be. We Germans have 
a phrase: Ein Gottvertrunkener Merisch. A God- 
drunken man. My forbear, Frederick, the Great, made 



116 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

a great mistake in not invoking God, when he spoke of 
his hundred thousand reasons. He who has power de- 
rives it from his God. Power has God given me, akin 
to His Omnipotence. My hundred thousand reasons are 
my ten thousand regiments, eleven million fighting men, 
and all derived from God. 

YOLANDE. 

[Clasping her hands in her lap and looking up.] What 
is power, Sire? 

Kaiser. 

[Standiiig over her and pulling his moustache.] It is 
the ability of the strong to impose their will upon the 
weak, and to overcome them, . . . even to the point of 
extermination. 

YOLANDE. 

And that is why women have power over men? 

Kaiser. 
[Tugging his ear.] How so? 

YOLANDE. 

Because men seldom wish to exterminate us, and oftni 
they cannot impose their will upon us, except by extermi- 
nation. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 117 

Kaiser. 
Ha! 

YOLANDE. 

Belgium is like a woman, Sire. [Suddenly falls on 
Tier knees and raises Tier clasped Jiands.] You would 
not exterminate us, Sire. [Kaiser crosses his arms and 
looks down at her.] 

Kaiser. 

Tut, tut. Women always grow wild when their minds 
wander from their children. 

YOLANDE. 

But I love children, Sire. In the name of my unborn 
Belgian children, I beseech you, do not exterminate us, 
Sire. 

Kaiser. 

Young lady, hysterics do not help us here. Belgium 
will not be exterminated. The utmost that will happen 
is that we shall mix the race. 

YOLANDE. 

[Springing to her feet.] Never, by the Power 



118 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

To me, Omnipotence has given power. If I so will, 
it shall be done. 

YOLANDE. 

Sire, there was a man, whom drunken power could 
only crucify. 

Kaiser. 

[Glowering.] Young lady, we are facing facts. You 
are talking to the only monarch in Europe. Do you 
comprehend what I say? [Yolande listens with her 
hand to her ear.] We Germans are live men, and I am 
their Lord of Lords. Does your intelligence grasp this ? 
Do you attend to what I say? [Yolande gives a sudden 
cry.] Nations and women should understand their mas- 
ters. [Yolande bounds toward the ivireless.] 

Kaiser. 

What? How? 

Yolande. 

[Waving Tier hand high.] Yes! Yes! Be still, if you 
please. Monsieur le Kaiser! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 119 

Kaiser. 
But, but 

YOLANDE. 

[Waving again.] Silence! [Wifli a little shriek of 
delight.] Raoul! It is my lover! It is Belgium! 

[Kaiser stands still with open mouth, gazing at her 
as she catches the message, and transmits one. 
Then she turns, dejected, with hands clasped in 
front of her, ivalks toward him, halts in front of 
him, and looks up into his face.] 

YOLANDE. 

Monarch 

Kaiser. 
Of Europe. What did your message say? 

YOLANDE. 

Some day you will die. 

Kaiser. 
Not till I have lived to 



120 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

Not till you have tortured the whole world. 

Kaiser. 

What did your message say? Young lady, do you 
realize I have power over your small person? 

YOLANDE. 

Power ! The meanest man or woman has power to die, 
nobly or ignobly. 

Kaiser. 

Don't bandy words with me. What did your message 
say? 

YOLANDE, 

[Looking steadfastly at Mm.] The message said Bel- 
gium will die nobly. 

Kaiser. 

[Yelling.] Fool, little fool, what did you answer the 
fool who sent that message? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 121 

YOLANDE. 

I answered a much greater man than you. It was 
my lover in the Life Guards of the King of Belgium. 
I answered, I would die with him. I answered 

Kaiser. 

You little fool! You may yet be glad to die. Know 
first you are my prisoner. Contradict this message. 
Say Belgian neutrality will be inviolate. I have in- 
structed my ambassador. Quick! Go! Do you hear? 
[YoLANDE shakes Tier head. He shakes his fist at her.] 
What? 

YOLANDE. 

If it were the truth I would transmit your message, 
and thank God. But, since it is a lie, I will not. 

Kaiser. 

[Shaking his fist in her face.] Do you understand 
you are my prisoner? [Poet steps from the shade.] 

Poet. 

No. You are my prisoner, your Majesty. 



122 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

[Relaxes and stares.] How so? 

Poet. 

I have power over you. 

Kaiser. 
You! 

Poet. 

The power of the defenseless over the strong. America 
is the defender of the defenseless. I am an American. 

Kaiser. 

I might have known it from your impudence. You 
love words, like all your countrymen. You may yet 
have to learn my maxim : The best word is a blow. 

Poet. 

Words sometimes are blows. I am a journalist. I 
represent a paper of the most important circulation in 
America. 

Kaiser. 
Ach, so! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 123 

Poet. 
You see, I have a power of a kind. 

Kaiser. 
A kind to be exterminated. 

Poet. 

In America, we do not exterminate free speech, or 
any form of decent liberty. 

Kaiser. 
Look out your country does not get exterminated. 

Poet. 

By Germany? It is safer for a monarch of all Europe 
to be a friend, rather than a foe, of America . . . even 
if he has a hundred thousand reasons for exterminating 
her. 

Kaiser. 

Come, my friend, I have many million friends in 
America. I see you are a student of our history. You 
quote Frederick the Great. 



124 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

I sometimes have time for poetry, especially dramatic 
poetry. I met Frederick the Great, once, somewhere 
in my imagination ... or before I was born, as Plato 
would say. 

Kaiser. 

Ah, you quote Plato, too. [Pulling Ms moustacJie and 
tappi7ig the poet kindly.] A Poet, are you? So am I. 
I have imagination. 

Poet. 

So was Frederick the Great. He had imagination. 

Kaiser. 

A glorious phrase, that — **a hundred thousand 
reasons!" 

Poet. 

Yes, he took it from Voltaire. 

Kaiser. 

Frederick, like me, was a practical poet, no matter 
where he got his ideas. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 125 

Poet. 

He gt»t it from Voltaire, who in turn got it from 
Machiavelli, who taught that the State is Power, and 
power resides in the Prince. Machiavelli is not popular 
in America. 

Kaiser. 

[WitJi Ms finger on Jiis nose.] Hm! Well, this is all 
very interesting. . . . But here are my Ministers of 
State. 

[Enter Falkenhayn, TmpiTZ and Rathenau. 
Rathenau is old and hent, hut very calm, with a 
look of concentration.] 

Kaiser. 

Falkenhayn, the wireless is here, and you will see to 
its removal. As yet little harm is done. Hysteria, 
nothing more. [Turning to Yolande and the Poet.] 
A mere military measure. You children may go amuse 
yourselves. 

Yolande. 

This Danish island is my sister's property, Sire. You 
are at liberty to leave us. 



126 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

TiRPITZ. 

[Puffing in an undertone.] All Highest, the sea is 
staked. 

Kaiser. 

You mean [Tirpitz looks a hit anxiously at 

YoLANDE and Poet. Kaiser continues impatiently.] 
Out with it ! England is in the Baltic ! 

Tirpitz. 

Yes. England will stand by her allies. 

Kaiser. 

[ClencJiing Ids hands.] May every sailor's bone make 
of her crags, white sepulchres. England! [Cruncliing 
the paper.] 

Falkenhayn. 

This needs its signature, your Majesty. I am from 
Diisseldorf, . . . Rathenau, here, from Posen. Rathenau 
is come to say, the banks are ready for the Eastern 
crisis. 

Kaiser. 
How, Rathenau? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 127 

Rathenau. 

[With bent hack but calm power, looking up.] The 
United Electrical concern 

Kaiser. 
Will stand behind the banks. 

Rathenau. 
[Nodding.] From Berlin to Bagdad. 

Kaiser. 

All Germany. 

Rathenau. 

Is ready, Majesty. 

[Holds out Ms pen to the Kaiser.] Your signature. 

[YoLANDE covers her eyes while the Kaiser signs 
the order. Poet stands behind her, watching.] 

Kaiser. 

[Looking up.] Wilhelm, by the Grace of God. [Sees 
YoLANDE and the Poet.] The world has drawn its 
sword. [Turns to go.] God help us all! . . . but Eng- 
land! 



128 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 

King and Kaiser, fear the dying, . . . you, who have 
no fear of the living. 

Kaiser. 

Children with your kindermarchen — to me Omnipo- 
tence has given ... a hundred thousand reasons. [Click- 
ing Jiis Jieels.] I am the All-Highest upon Earth. 

CURTAIN. 



ACT III. 

Time : TJie fourtfi year of tlie Great War. 

Scene: A graveyard in a Belgian Spa, not far from 
tlie fighting lines. A low wall runs across tJie hack 
of tlie graveyard, separating it from a wood. The 
wall in one place is broken down. 

YoLANDE, in the moonlight, is seen, seated alone, 
her head in her hands. A carillon of iells is heard 
from a tower at the left. 

Enter Poet, in tweeds as before. He tiptoes toward 
YoLANDE and speaks low. 

Poet. 

Mademoiselle de Malines. [Yolande raises her head.] 
It was successful. I found Monsieur de Forta. He will 
be with you in less than twenty minutes. 

Yolande. 

[Raises her hands, with fingers interlaced, above her 
forehead, as she bows her head.] Thank God. 

129 



130 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet, 

He could hardly believe his ears, when I told him you 
were so near. He will have to go through several cellars 
of the town, and cross the graveyard from the north. 
But he was sure — [Throws a flasJiligJit on his ivatch] — 
he could do it in twenty-five minutes. He should be 
here now, in ten. 

YOLANDE. 

[Placing her hands on an upright bayonet, planted 
between the stones of the wall.] He must not trip over 
this sharp bayonet. 

Poet. 

You don't need it now. [Starts to take the bayonet 
out.] 

Yolande. 

[Preventing Mm.] No, leave it there. I may need 
it. [Turning.] You have been very kind to me. 

Poet. 

[Half choking.] Kind! What cuts us up, us Ameri- 
cans, is that we can do so little for you Belgians. You 
have had three years of Purgatory, and we have only 
spent a year at the gates of it. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 131 

YOLANDE. 

[Drops Jier head again.] Purgatory. [Raises Tier 
head.] Kind American! Does your religion, like ours, 
teach you there are two sorts of fires? 

Poet. 

Two sorts'? My religion teaches me there are two 
kinds of dying. 

YoLANDE. 

[Eagerly.] Yes! Yes! 

Poet. 

The kind that plucks life, like a rose, to toss to a 
lover, and the kind that waits till death steals it, as 
a thief of thieves. 

YOLANDE, 

Ah, 3'ou are a poet! I am only a simple girl . . . 
woman. [Bows her head again. Silence a moment.] 
Monsieur, I want to thank you once again, if I should 
never see you any more. 

Poet. 
No, no! 



132 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

Yes, yes. I want to thank you for everj^ one of our 
Belgians you helped me save from the horrors of depor- 
tation ... at great risk to yourself. I knew it . . . 
the electric wires. 

Poet. 



Please, please! 



YOLANDE, 



Yes, yes. And I thank you, above everything, for 
bringing my lover to me. You don't know — God only 
can know — what it is to me. 

Poet. 

But it was nothing, so far as I am concerned. Though 
I think I do know what it means. 

YoLANDE. 

[Starting.] What do you know? 

Poet. 

You forget I am a lover. I know what it would mean 
to me to see the woman I love, in America. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 133 

YOLANDE. 

[Wringing Tier Jiands.] Ah, God grant you may . . . 
be happy ... as my lover . . . can never be. 

Poet. 
[Starts.] But . . . you. . . . 

YOLANDE. 

No. Do not ask me what I mean. I only meant you 
to understand how my heart thanked you, for this chance 
to speak to my betrothed. You were the one person that 
could have accomplished it. 

Poet. 

I have accomplished so little since the war began. I 
have tormented myself with all my deficiencies. It seems 
next to nothing a war correspondent can do, even in 
saving a few women. And as for leaving a woman, a 
gentlewoman like you, on the open road, as I was obliged 
to do that night, 

YOLANDE. 

[ With a little cry, covering Tier eyes again. ] Ah ! . . . 
do not speak of it. 



134 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Poet. 
It haunts me. 

YOLANDE. 

It haunts me. But you . . . you must learn to forget 
it, when you see your sweetheart, in America. She will 
be so proud of you ! 

Poet. 

Not yet, though I do want her to be. She must take a 
great drama from me, or else the great drama . . . must 
take me. 

YoLANDE. 

Ah, yes, you are a poet. But to us ordinary ones it 
comes. We, too, sometimes, must lay bare our minds. 
It is why I sent for my Raoul, and God was good to let 
you accomplish it. 

Poet. 

And here he comes. I leave you, Mademoiselle. But 
I shall be at hand. He goes out to the right. 

[Enter Raoul.] 

YOLANDE. 

[WitJi a cry.] Ah! Mon amant! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 135 

Raoul. 

[Embracing Tier.] Coeur de mon caeur! My heart of 
hearts ! 

YOLANDE. 

Oh, if we might die now, and go to Heaven ! We have 
had our Purgatory. 

Raoul, 

[Holding Tier off, and gazing at Tier in tJie moonligJit, 
as she stands witJi slowly drooping head.] I don't hate 
them for myself, but I want to send them to Hell, when 
I see you suffer. You 're thin in the f aee ! 

YoLANDE. 

Don't look at me. Just keep me close to you, as long 
as I may. 

Raoul. 

[Draiving her to him.] We won't count time. Our 
kind American is watching. We'll pretend it's eternity, 
while it lasts. 

Yolande. 
[With closed eyes.] Eternity. 



136 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Raoul. 
It will be that some day. 

YOLANDE. 

And you will love me then? 

Raoul. 
Of course. 

YOLANDE. 

But answer me! Are you sure? 
Raoul. 

Of course! Why do you torment yourself about 
eternity? Isn't there tumult enough here in the world 
of time? 

YOLANDE. 

Tumult, yes, nothing but tumult. That's why I ask 
about eternity. We cannot love each other again like 
this, here in the world of time. 

Raoul. 

[Breaking from Tier a moment.] Yolande! This is 
hysterical. Don't let those brutes, those German swine, 
don 't let them rob you of your superb intrepidity. That 
would be their worst brigandage. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 137 

YOLANDE. 

[Looking up at liim, as lie liolds Iter liands.] They've 
not robbed me of all intrepidity, Raoul. But 

Raoul. 
But what? 

YOLANDE. 

But [Breaks down and sobs, lier Jiead on Ms 

breast. ] 

Raoul. 

There, my white bunny rabbit! There, there, my 
furry, frightened hare! They sha'n't have you! We, 
and our good Allies are licking them, inch by inch, and 
day by day, though they don't know it yet. They don't 
know it, but they've done their worst. 

YOLANDE. 

Oh, Raoul, they liave done their worst ... to me! 
[Buries Iter head deeper with a sob.] Yes, to me. 

Raoul. 
[WitJi a Jioarse cry.] Yolande! 



138 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

[Her head still huried.] Don't kill me. I shall kill 
myself. 

Raoul. 

[Clasping lier closer.] I kill you! No. Not you. 
But every cursed hoof and hide of them, as far as my 
lance can break the ground. 

YoLANDE. 

Hush, dearest, hush ! Someone will hear ! 

Raoul. 
Then, let Hell hear, where most of them shall go. 

YOLANDE. 

You hurt me very hard. [He loosens her.] It seems 
to me that I have known the pains of Hell, and it has 
burned hate away. [Raoul utters another hoarse ci'y.] 
But don't take love from me! Don't take your love 
away, just these few minutes here ! [Raoul seats her on 
the wall. 

Raoul. 

Yolande, tell me everything. Quickly ! Keep nothing 
back. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 139 

YOLANDE. 

[Clasping Tier hands in her lap, and bending her head.] 
Thank God, I don't know everything. I fainted again 
and again ... a long, long time. 

Raoul. 

Was it an officer? 

YOLANDE. 

There was an officer, and there were soldiers. They 
caught me on the road, after I had shown a convoy of our 
Belgians to the kind American. 

Raoul. 

But he . . . was he . . . the American ... he was 
not a witness? 

YOLANDE. 

Ah, no. It was on the road back to the town, and they 
knew what I had done. 

Raoul. 

And they didn't dare repeat the Edith Cavell mur- 
der. 



140 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

So they did worse. 

Raoul. 

[Putting Ms arm about lier.] No, thank Heaven, I 
have you still, alive. 

YOLANDE. 

[Laying her Jiead against liis ar7n.] But I shall not 
be, this time tomorrow night. 

Raoul. 

Yolande, don 't let yourself say wild things. It grows, 
on all of us, in these awful hours. 

Yolande. 

[Lifting Jiis hand, and kissing it.] What do I care, 
now that I know you will love me through eternity. 

Raoul. 

[Dazedly.] What do you care? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 141 

YOLANDE. 

Yes. I mean about parting with you for this little 
life. Yes, dearest, I 'm not crazy. I've done all I could. 
It is a question of . . . another life ... to be born into 
the world. 

Raoul, 

[Covers Ms face, and sobs.] Oh, Yolande, Yolande! 

YOLANDE. 

[Patting Jiis liead.] Yes, dearest, I knew how it 
would be with you. [Still patting Ms Jiead.] It was the 
hardest part of all . . . worse than knowing it for my- 
self. And that is why I know that I must kill myself. 

Raoul. 

[Breaking away.] Yolande, don't talk like a fool. 

Yolande. 

Don't act as if you did not love me, Raoul. I know 
now you will when I am dead. 

Raoul. 

[With Ms back to her.] I do now. But 



142 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

YOLANDE. 

Yes, *'but." Come here and talk to me, quite calmly. 
We haven't man.y minutes. [Raoul returns and sits 
hcsidc her on the wall.] I have thought it all out. You 
always said I was quick to think and act. [Raoul 
groans.] For those days after that awful night, I 
couldn't think or act, or even speak. And then 

Raoul. 
And then? 

YoLANDE. 

And then I went to my confessor and he sent to me — 
most eminent physicians. But 

Raoul. 
But? 

Yolandk.- 
But it was too late. 

Raoul. 
Poor child! 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 143 

YOLANDE. 

No. I can 't have you pity me, and grow cold in pity. 

Raoul. 
I sha'n't. 

YOLANDE, 

Or grow hot in hate. I 've thought it all out, dearest. 
You must realize that I am a woman. 

Raoul. 
To your undoing. 

YOLANDE. 

Yes. I might learn to love the little life I can't yet 
realize. 

Raoul, 

What, you mean? No! by God! 

Yolande. 

[Nodding slowly.] Yes. Yes, there it is. Because 
I am a woman, I might not loathe my little child. And 
you might, therefore, some day kill it. That I might 
bear. But you might hate me for loving it . . . and 
that I could not bear. 



144 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Raoul. 

[WitJi his head in his hands, rocking in grief.] Yo- 
lande, Yolande, you're killing me! 

YOLANDE. 

[Placing both hands on his head.] No, dearest, you 
must live, to deliver Belgium. You understand. You 
must live to see her delivered. Save every Belgian 
mother for her Belgian sons. You understand, I'm 
only parting from you for a little time.. Life is short, 
Raoul. [He raises his head, then stands, and takes "her 
hands. They kiss. Then suddenly break aipart.^ 

Both. 

What! What was it? 

Yolande. 
[7n a whisper.] A flash light. 

Raoul, 
[Drawing his sahre.] Lie close to the wall. 

Yolande. 

It can never be again. Save Belgium. [Throws her- 
self on the bayonet, with a low groan. Raoul utters a 
suppressed cry, and bends over her.] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 145 

Raoul. 

My God, it's done! [He lifts Iter body from the bayo- 
net and lets it fall sidewise close to the wall.] 

[Enter Poet,] 

Poet. 

Monsieur de Forta! I saw a flashlight in the woods. 
I'm afraid we are watched. 

Raoul. 

[Rising.] What do I care, Monsieur? Life's done, 
for me. The girl I love is dead. 

Poet. 

What? No! [Sees Yolande.] Oh, God! 

Raoul. 

[Standing witJt hent head over her.] How can we 
doubt that devils war with God and His angels. 

Poet. 

I never doubted it. 



146 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Raoul. 

Yolande told me you understand many things. Do 
}'ou understand why she has done this? My brain is on 
fire. Do you understand? 

Poet. 

I think I do. She was serving her country that night 
on the road to the coast. It was necessary for her to 
die. 

Raoul. 

You understand. Do you understand why I shall be 
a maniac, unless Belgium is freed? 

Poet. 

I do. Fight on, Monsieur le Capitaine. America is 
with you to the last man. Quick ! The flashlight again ! 
[He stoops and drags down Raoul witTi Mm, who in- 
stantly rises again.] 

Raoul. • 

Let it come. I am drunk with her innocent blood. 

[Raises hotli clencJied fists.] I could kill, kill, kill, 
from the Kaiser to the lowest Carl he kicks into the 
fight. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 147 

Poet. 

Monsieur, the light ! Monsieur, I entreat you ! Would 
you serve your country? Quick! Back to your garri- 
son and fight. Don't let them trap you like a rat. 
Fight! Fight on! We two shall meet in battle some 
day, God willing. I will stay here. I have means of 
escape. You have not. I swear it to you. I will give 
this gentle lady burial. Will you not trust the word of 
a gentleman? 

Raoul. 

[Catching Jiis liand and kissing it. God bless you . . . 
and America. 

Poet. 

Your King and Country, Sir. Quick ! Be off ! 

Raoul. 

[Bends over Yolande a moment, then staggers out, 
until Ms head sunk in Ms arms.] Yolande, Yolande. 
[Poet stands and gazes at the dead body of Yolande. 

Poet. 

White and red. I thought it was a young girl's wlld- 
ness, when she said it. So much of red. [Bends down.] 
And warm still. Can it be Belgium, too, is only the 



148 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

semblance of warm life? Do you hear me, woman who 
loved? I swear to you, and the woman I love across 
the sea, Belgium shall be free, or my blood shall lie wet, 
like this of yours. \ Stoops close over Tier.] Yes, warm, 
and too weak to flow. The Broken Reed. I know you, 
and your power, at last. I knew that I should know. 
Come, little woman. We both were lovers, more even 
than we knew, when we first met. \He lifts tJie hody, 
and suddenly drops it close to tlie wall, as lie sees fhe 
light flasJi again, in fhe woods, hard hy. He himself 
stands stiff, and close to a great tree, listening and ivatch- 
ing. Enter through the woods the Kaiser, flashing 
his light intermittently, as he comes.] 

Kaiser. 

Voices, voices, everywhere, and sights, and sights! 
[Comes to the wall.] What's this? [Flashes his light, 
then climbs over the wall, and paces ahout the grave- 
yard, flashing his light, now and again. Suddenly stops, 
and raises his hand, so that the light flashes on his face, 
and reveals a look of horror.] A skull! , . . half- rotten. 
'Answer me. Who are you? A Polish Russian prisoner? 
Ha ! It had to be. You were weak as a nation. Weak- 
ness is vice. No, it's a crime. Strength is virtue. Ger- 
many was strong. Strong, I say, which means "God 
with us." God with us, we are conquering still. Your 
wife was ravished. What! You should have stayed at 
home and protected her. You should have been power- 
ful, like us. We had "no right or reason," what! Ha, 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 149 

ha ! Power is reason, son of a Polish Count. You should 
have cultivated power. It is the great culture, the last 
Kultur, that conquers the whole world. [Flashes Ms 
light on the ground again. Starts hack and shakes.] 
What, who are you? . . . you twisted mouth, and glassy 
eyes! Don't think you can outstare me. [The light 
wothles in his hand and reveals again his oivn horror- 
stricken face.] What, a gentleman of France? It was a 
gallant nation, Monsieur. But it was too chivalrous to 
women. Your mothers should have borne three times 
as many sons. It was a vice, in other words a weakness, 
opposed to our great power. What, your mother's house 
was beaten down? She fled in the night rain? What, 
you were taken prisoner on the battle ground? You 
should have stayed with your Mamma. She should 
have borne a dozen sons. They are the nation's power. 
We were powerful. God helps those that help them- 
selves. Can you read German? Do you know our 
motto: *'Gott mit uns"? [Paces on again. Suddenly 
flashes his light on Yolande.] What, No! What, are 
my eyes out? [Covers his eyes. Uncovers them again, 
and speaks after a moment. ] It is ! Where have I seen 
you? Who are you? My soldiers don't kill women! 
They have too much power. My soldiers are strong men. 
I trained them so. They did not kill you ! They wanted 
not your life. They would be ashamed to take your life. 
They could impose their will upon you, if need be. 
What is that you say? The power that weak women 
have, over strong men, because men cannot always over- 
come them, except by extermination? Extermination! 



150 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Ha! Belgium is slowly being exterminated. "What is 
that you say? "Belgium is like a woman, Sire." You 
were a pretty woman. Yes . . . beautiful . . . and Bel- 
gium, too. [Cliimes ring. He starts hack in a quake 
again.] Ha, one tower not shaken down, by my big 
Berthas. Well . . . however, you did meet your death, 
it is wise to know that beauty is not power. And he 
that is without power, power vnW destroy. Beauty and 
Power! Hum. They are two separate qualities. [Starts 
hack suddenly at tlie sound of a flute, playing a Mozart 
air.] What sights and sounds ! Nothing but sounds and 
sights. [Enter tire gJiost of Frederick the Great, 
seen indistinctly, until tlie Kaiser turns liis flasldiglit on 
liim. He is disclosed playing upon Ms flute. Kaiser 
sliakes, hut stands erect.] I know you. There's a paint- 
ing of you with your flute, by old Pesne, in the grand 
gallery of the Potsdam Palace. What, have you finished 
playing? Don't tell me you, too, can talk! 



Frederick. 

[Poising Ms flute in one hand, and taking snuff.] A 
ravishing air. 

Kaiser. 

What? I suppose so. There was a time, when I used 
to quote you, verhatim, but not about art. Although I 
am an artist and a poet. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 151 

Frederick. 

You did quote me verbatim? And why not quote me 
now? Voltaire and I, between us, framed many a pi- 
quant epigram. 

Kaiser. 

I have ceased to quote anyone but God. 

Frederick. 

A great mistake. Any child of six can be glib at 
quoting God, but a wise man often has need to quote the 
Devil. There was a saying of mine, now, that came 
through Voltaire from Maehiavelli, and through Machia- 
velli straight from the Devil. 

Kaiser. 

AcJifSo! I know the saying. I often quoted it, in deed 
still more than in word. It was the saying that you had 
a hundred thousand excellent reasons (meaning your 
men under arms). 

Frederick. 
Magnifique! I see you have the historic sense. 



152 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

[WitJi a long-drawn sigJi.] Oh, yes, I am a man of 
history, a man of many parts. I am afflicted with imagi- 
nation. 

Frederick. 



Afflicted? 



Kaiser. 



Yes, afflicted. Imagination is a good servant. I have 
proved it so. But, listen. [In a Jioarse wJiisper.] It 
is a horrible master! 

Frederick. 

[Poising Ids flute ligJitly.] Ah! I see you have made 
another great mistake. I also have been credited with 
being a man of many parts. I was a poet in my day. 

Kaiser. 

So am I. 

Frederick. 

Then you should play upon the flute. [Poising his 
flute as if to play.] 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 153 

Kaiser. 

[ Covers his ears. ] Pray, don 't begin that. I Ve heard 
enough tonight. The chimes in yonder tower tormented 
me, just now. 

Frederick. 

Oh, chimes! They alwaj^s were a nuisance. But re- 
ligion is necessary for keeping the common crowd in 
order. 

Kaiser. 

For leading them about. I have never failed to make 
use of religion. 

Frederick. 

Indeed ! Did you find it plausible ? 

Kaiser. 

To make it plausible, you must believe in it. I have 
always believed that God was at my right hand. 

Frederick, 

How interesting! It must have led you into extraor- 
dinary undertakings . . . more remarkable than cap- 
turing Silesia, thought to be a feat in its day. 



154 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

It ha8 led me into conflict with the world. 

Frederick. 

How stupendous ! And you will conquer ? 

Kaiser. 

Of course. 

Frederick. 

I see. You think it is a small affair of the Almighty. 

Kaiser. 

[Holding up Ms fist.] As God reigns, so reign I. 

Frederick. 

[Taking snuff again.] It must save you a great deal 
of anxiety. Now I used to be annoyed with insomnia. 

Kaiser. 

Ach! So am I. That is why I am here. I am af- 
flicted with insomnia . . . and imagination. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 155 

Frederick. 

You are indeed a man of parts. How does your imagi- 
nation work? 

Kaiser. 

[Half wliispering.] I see things, on the ground. 

Frederick. 

[With a little laugli.] Another great mistake, my 
friend. You should learn to play upon the flute. 

Kaiser. 

No! No! Don't talk of that. I should see above the 
flute, and always things upon the ground. 

Frederick. 
How entertaining! What, now, do you see? 

Kaiser. 

Aeh! Everything. Did you see that flying squirrel 
flying by? Did you see it leap into the tree? 



156 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

A thing of curious beauty. I used to collect them, in 
my Chinese ivory ware, at Sans Souci, in Potsdam. 
[Musing.] A thing of curious beauty. 

Kaiser. 

That's it! ... A thing of beauty. Why does it ex- 
ist? The thought torments me. 

Frederick. 

Mistake, mistake, a great mistake to be thought-ridden. 
Learn Mozart on the flute. 

Kaiser. 

God damn the flute. I tell you a man of thought must 

think. 

Frederick. 
Ah! Indeed! Pray, what do you think about? 

Kaiser. 
I told you. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 157 

Frederick. 

[Witli aestJietic nicety, after looking meditatively at 
the Kaiser.] We were speaking of the curious beauty 
of the squirrel, whether in Chinese ivory, or in specie 
naturae, naked nature. A thing of curious beauty! 

Kaiser. 

Yes, but [Shakes his fist in Frederick's face.] 

But why does it exist? 

Frederick. 

[With sudden complacency.] Like the species Rat, I 
should suppose, it exists for its own glory. 

Kaiser. 
For its own glory ! But it has no power. 
Frederick. 

Quite true. 

Kaiser. 

And if another powerful, predatory species, took it 
for its prey 



158 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 
The species, Squirrel, would become extinct. 

Kaiser. 

And if another still more powerful took the predatory 
species for its prey, 

Frederick. 

Ah, yes. I see what you are trying to grasp. Man, 
being most powerful, would be the only species. And the 
most powerful nation, among men, in a War a Outrance, 
would wipe out all the rest. 

Kaiser. 
Yes, yes. 

Frederick. 
You mean your Germans. 

Kaiser. 
Yes. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 159 

Frederick. 

And the most powerful party, in a political cam- 
paign a outrance, would wipe out the rest. And the 
most powerful man in the party would annihilate the 
rest . . . plain gobble them up. 

Kaiser. 

Yes. Even were the rest his own son. 

Frederick. 

[Waving liis flute witJi a smile.] And he would be left 
alone with his God, who, to follow the analogy, would 
gobble him up, as a cat does a rat . . . neither one of 
whom is supposed to have a soul. My friend, don't 
think. And if you, like me, would be called ' ' the Great, ' ' 
don't lie to yourself. Learn, as I learned, to play upon 
the flute. 

Kaiser. 

Come here! [Motions to Frederick, wJio follows, as 
the Kaiser leads him, to the feet of Yolande, looking 
curiously.] Do you think a flute would help me here? 

Frederick. 

She also was a thing of beauty. Her white costume is 
half red. Did you do this piece of extermination? 



160 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

Yes. And a thousand thousand more. 

Frederick. 

And you have not conquered yet? 

Kaiser. 

No, it will take a thousand thousand more. 

Frederick. 

[Seating liimself on tlie wall, the flute poised in air.] 
A thousand thousand more? . . . for what? 

Kaiser. 

To keep my Grab Bag in the East. Belgium is noth- 
ing. 

Frederick. 

It took ten years of war to keep my grabbings of Si- 
lesia. I fought the whole of Europe. 

Kaiser. 

And I on top of all — America. 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 161 

Frederick. 
I made the snowfields red with blood. 

Kaiser. 
And I . . . the oceans. 

Frederick. 
I taught that Miglit makes Right. 

Kaiser. 
And I — I learned your teachings 



Frederick. 

The Devil's platitude made readable by Machiavelli, 
made feasible by Voltaire, and unforgettable by me. I 
taught it to your Fatherland. 

Kaiser. 

And I retaught it. We stamped the weak into the 
ground, and now — I only see the ground — the ground — 
and God! 



162 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Frederick. 

My friend, you have not followed my teaching with 
complete attention. To myself, my friend, I never lied. 
I never called the Devil, God. Come, it's plain you need 
Mozart. [Begins to play.] 

Kaiser. 

[Strides toward 7im, and strikes the flute.] I will 
not have your cursed flute. Gott strafe you. I have 
killed music in the world. 

Frederick. 

No. You have no power over me, or music that I play. 
[Walks slowly away, playing Jiis Mozart air.] 

Kaiser. 

[Follows Mm witJi Jiis searchligJit, and after Frederick 
Jias vanished, the notes of the flute are still heard. He 
then turns the light around upon Yolande and walks to- 
ward her again. ] I 've killed beauty, too. Your unborn 
Belgian children. . . . The world is angry over them 
... as well as over towers of Liege and Rheims. The 
world's not large enough for all of us, and so weak na- 
tions must expire. Yes, Falkenhayn, we have your 
Empire grabbed from the feeble East. And Germany 
shall have a Western Empire built on the feeble West; 
American women shall one day bring forth German 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 163 

sons. What's done is done. And there's much, still, 
to do. You needn 't rise to haunt me ! There '11 be many 
more of you! Down, I say, down! [Stamps on tJie feet 
of YoLANDE. Poet steps fortJi from the darkness into 
the moonlight.] 

Poet. 

If you cannot respect the dead, I '11 make you fear the 
living, though you were Kaiser of the Universe. 

Kaiser. 

[Turns flashlight on the Poet.] Comrade, it is the 
dead I fear, more than the living. You, are you alive? 

Poet. 

Alive to make you fear the living. Are you armed? 

Kaiser. 

[Starting and lifting his hands.] No, Kamerad, I'm 
glad to hear a live man 's voice again. Did you see sights, 
and hear sounds, in this wood and graveyard ? 

Poet. 

I saw you, and I heard you talking with the dead. 



164 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Kaiser. 

Tell me, did you see Frederick the Great, and hear 
him play his cursed flute ? 

Poet. 

I heard you talking with him, and I almost saw him, 
in my mind's eye. But I saw him, as Plato would say, 
before I was born. I am a dramatist by occupation, or 
I was, your Majesty, till you, to-night, turned me into 
a soldier. 

Kaiser. 

How so? A dramatist? So, too, am I. I have imagi- 
nation. It is a great incubus, imagination . . . Tiein? 
It's that, that makes me fear the dead, more than the 
living. 

Poet. 

You do well, to fear them more. Heroic sacrifice ! . . . 
it is the power that raised up the meekest of all men 
from a grave. 

Kaiser. 

[Peering forward.] How so? 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 165 

Poet. 

It is the Power that sent His twelve Apostles out to 
martyrs' deaths. It is the Power that arms the "Feeble" 
"West against you. It is the Power that saves the frail- 
est of humanity from the clutches of all dominant tyr- 
anny. It is the Power that says you shall not snatch the 
Feeble East weak as a woman to resist you. It is the 
power that has compelled me to leave the pen for an 
American cannon. 

Kaiser. 
[Staring.] How so? 

Poet. 

Yes, to give up life and leave what's better to me 
than my life, unwritten, in order to lead men against 
you in a field where the best a man could do would be 
to kill you. I would do it now, if you were armed. 

Kaiser. 

What have I done to you? 

Poet. 

What have you done to this dead girl, and the whole 
peaceful world? Leave her body here to me for burial. 
Her soul and mine, and all I love, will fight till you and 



1G6 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

yours are dead. [Takes out Ms pistol.] Go. [Kaiser 
wavers. ] You see you made a great mistake not to bring 
with you to this graveyard your hundred thousand rea- 
sons. [Covers Kaiser witJi pistol. Kaiser hoivs Ms head, 
and turns to go tlirougli the wall. He searches the woods 
as he goes along with his light.] 



Kaiser. 

My hundred thousand reasons. [Poet still covers him 
with his pistol.] 

Poet. 

They shall wake up a sleeping America, your hundred 
thousand reasons. [Chimes from the tower.] 



CURTAIN. 



Scene: — Darkness, sounds of distant gunfire and then 
— the dugout as before. Soldiers and the Banker 
Lieutenant hear in the Poet Captain, and give 
him first aid for a wound in the shoulder. 

Poet Captain. 

[Feeling his breast, and speaking in a hoarse voice to 
the Banker Lieutenant.] Don't let her little white veil 
get bloody. 

Banker Lieutenant. 

[Searching the breast pockets of the Poet Captain 
and taking out the envelope from which he extracts the 
veil. ] That 's safe, old man, and you 're safe, too. And 
your play poem is safe — just as you dreamed it. . . . 
Bet your life. I saw it in the German gas. Damn them ! 
We've licked 'em once again all right. [Poet Captain 
gasps.] Hold on, old man, I've got your Vision Dream 
stuff. And the damned reality. But you're not go- 
ing ... to die. 

Poet Captain. 

[Attempting to sit up.] No, not yet. [To Orderly.] 
Bring in your prisoner that they say is the Kaiser. 

167 



168 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Orderly. 

We've got him here, sir. [Exit hy communication 
trencJi. He comes hack instantly ivitli a soldier and a 
German, ostensibly the Kaiser in a long cloak and spiked 
helmet.] 

Orderly. 

[Saluting.] He says he's a dummy, but I believe he's 
the Kaiser, sir. 

Poet Captain. 

[Stares at Mm, tlien staggers to Ms feet.] Are you 
the Kaiser? 



No. 



German. 



Poet Captain. 



[Puts Ms liands over Ms eyes.] I could have killed 
him, if he had had a pistol, and my pistol had been 
loaded. [Uncovers Ms eyes.] You don't desers^e to 
live. In my State in America, they kill men for just 
one of your many crimes to women. Sometimes we get 
the wrong man, yes — too bad. But we take no chances. 
Americans you think are soft to women. Well, perhaps 



THE KAISER'S REASONS 169 

they are. But they are the cruellest men in the world 
to criminals like you who outrage women. We'll take 
no chances with j^ou. You are the Kaiser or you walk 
his ways and work his works. [To Orderly.] Take him. 
[ TJiey lead Mm out. ] A hundred thousand reasons won 't 
help you to keep your Eastern Empire. They won't 
help you against one helpless woman, and the American 
flag. 

CURTAIN. 



EPILOGUE 

[Chimes and darkness, again revealing tlie Belfry in 
Berlin as before. The chimes continue, hut without 
the answering voices of the children, as the two 
Spit'its stand again armed and confronting each the 
other. \ 

Spirit of the Sword. 

Again I meet thee dying. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Face to face. 

Spirit of the Sword. 

Thy hands again 'tis I have crucified, 

The hills heap higher which thy corpses trace, 

The valleys deepen where thy dead have died. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And still thou fearest those from graves who rose to 
guide. 

171 



172 THE KAISER'S REASONS 

Spirit of the Sword. 

My might hath made thy meekness desolate, 
Thine arches ashes and thine altars blood, 
I wound thy weakness with the worm as mate, 
My batteries blaze where all thy beacons stood. 

Spirit of the Reed. 

And still thou fearest me, my broken reed and rood. 

[Holds Old the reed.] 

For in dead hands it hails a living host. 

Silent as sailing ships they swarm afar. 

And 'tis the dead they greet from coast to coast. 

The souls ye dumbed — each sings a morning star. 

Yea, things ye thought were not shall silence things 

that are — 
My loftiest spire and my lowliest shrine 

Spirit of the Sword. 
That I have fouled and daily desecrate, 

Spirit of the Reed. 

Is reared again with brighter beacon shine 
Beyond the outmost batteries of hate, 
A house not made with hands and peace shall keep 
its gate. 

The End. 



